Just brainstorming for my next work week, hanging with my bride who is in her work-a-holic fall tax season immersion.  She is alternating between reviewing returns, reviewing applicant resumes for her next summer internships, and flitting around doing her laundry, etc..

The washing machine is likely eating itself and will have to be either serviced or replaced before too long.  Fortunately, we rent so that will just take a phone call to deal with.   So far we are successfully avoiding the urge to buy another home.  Our intent is to not do that and when we make the call to retire, to move home to TX and into my parent's home.  

Yesterday was our football day.  My bride is from Oregon so we watched the Ducks play the Nittany Lions.  Great game. She wore a Ducks T-shirt the whole game and covered her eyes for most of it. A superstition thing for her. If is watching, her team loses but she wants to watch.   #6 Oregon upset #3 Penn State.  We flipped over to the Alabama/Georgia game during breaks and at halftime on the Oregon game.    This a big deal for my mom and her sister.   They were raised in part in Alabama. Mom when to HS with Bear Bryants daughter.  In the other part, they were raised in GA where both of their parents' families are from.  My uncle was an obsessed Georgia fan. The last years of his life his prize possession was a Georgia Bulldog quilt my mom made for him. He was wrapped in it constantly.   It was hanging from the pulpit at his funeral last summer.   My aunt is a rabid Bulldogs fan and two of her boys are GA graduates as are their wives and a number of their kids.  The sisters watch the game together while they are on the phone with each other.  If my aunt is not at the game in person.

Mom is happy, my aunt is not.  Another great game. #17 Alabama upset #5 Georgia. Both were nail biters.

Enjoy your day of football and prancing in your skivvies.

Kes wrote:

Had a long spell of marital harmony with my DH - after several years of turbulence as a result of SD30's behaviour towards me in 2022.  However, it came to an end yesterday, as a result of guess who?  Yes, SD30.  She basically wants to become an actor,  do little in the meantime, and has convinced DH to give her 6 months funding to do this.  Her job (front of house in a cinema)  was already part time - something like 20 hrs a week - now she is reducing it even more in order to "have time" to look for a better job.  The entitlement of this I find gob-smacking.  
It also brought all my hurt to the surface over the horrible things she said to me in 2022.  The worst part of this is I feel DH didn't acknowledge them fully, because he was too busy trying to appease her, and threatening me with divorce if I didn't appease her.  Needless to say I refused, and have refused to see her since.  She complained on the phone to him yesterday that she is "banned" from our house - this isn't true. I have repeatedly suggested to DH over the last 3 yrs that he can invite her here and I will go stay with my friend.  But he doesn't like this idea. Fine, but I am not changing my boundaries to accommodate her. 
So no, I didn't have a great Sunday.  

if my H threatened to divorce me I’d beat him to it and lawyer up. I’m on the wrong side of 50 and sick of everyone’s sh!t and out of f*cks to give. I am no contact with adult skid and my H is I think low contact with skid. I stay out of it, my H doesn’t say boo about it and skid does not visit. I didn’t tell my H skid isn’t allowed to visit, skid moved away. I don’t mind lol.

isn’t it emotional abuse to use the threat of divorce as leverage to make you capitulate?

Kes wrote:

It is indeed emotional abuse to threaten divorce - and I have given him to understand it must never happen again.  Unlike him I do not threaten divorce.  I didn't when I left my first marriage.  But I would leave if DH did it again, even though I am 68.  When I joined Step Talk I was 54 - oh what a long time ago!  

I hope your H starts to respect you and put you and your marriage first as it should be. Marriage is hard enough even when it’s a good one.

Kes wrote:

She complained on the phone to him yesterday that she is "banned" from our house - this isn't true. I have repeatedly suggested to DH over the last 3 yrs that he can invite her here and I will go stay with my friend.  But he doesn't like this idea. Fine, but I am not changing my boundaries to accommodate her. 
So no, I didn't have a great Sunday.  

 

This sounds like something my husband would do /say. I've told him that I would be open to seeing my stepson again and he didn't acknowledge that at all. He never brought it up ever again after I said it and didn't respond to it. I once said something along the lines of that they could come and I would just leave for the day or something, he didn't like that either. At one point he was mad that he hadn't seen the kids in a while when literally I had asked him multiple times if he was going to see his kids and he was always busy. Then he had the audacity to say in an argument that I never would have allowed him to see his kids so he never got to see them (not sure why.. Since I was always suggesting he go visit them)

Now they are at college a couple of hours away. I asked him if he would go see them up in college or if they happen to come visit back home. His answer was just no. He didn't say why. I asked him why and he just didn't give an answer

So..... I really don't get how they make no plans then say it's our fault. They just don't want to look inward? Rather blame someone else?

ESMOD wrote:

Nothing horrible happening.. nothing super great either..haha.

I'm staring down the big 60 in October.. very mixed feelings.. and a bit of melancholy over my own mortality tbh.. but better to get here than not.. I know many who haven't made 6 decades.

Part of my mortality musing probably led me to the ER last week.  I know it sounds stupid.. and believe me.. the ER DR made me feel stupid.. but I coughed up what looked like a worm.. like almost 2 inches long.. round coiled up (sorry TMI).. It was unusual enough that I doom googled.. and the ONLY thing that I could see that it could be was a bronchial cast.. like that was literally the only option that was close to it.. in picture or description.. I mean it wasn't the whole bronchial tree.. but looked like a piece.. google and all med said that was an ER emergency.. so as I am paranoid at that point that I am going to die in my sleep and my DH was out of town.. I went to the ER.. they sent me home after just an Xray.. probably nothing.

It was just unusual.. and I didn't have any other symptoms.. though I was suffering some kind of virus a few weeks ago.. maybe something lingered? who knows.. anyway.. still hoping I make 60 LOL.

Went to see my 96 yo father.. he is still in hospice with congestive heart failure.. but seems to bump along with just diminished capacity.. mentally he is still pretty close to 100%.

Otherwise.. some ups and downs with my DH's job.. he has been part time.. was going to be pulled full time.. that went back to part time.. so who knows... the money would have been nice.. but we will persevere.. haha.

skid adult land.. quiet.. they are living their lives.

Lung worms, that would have freaked me the hell out.   Lol. I am glad it was nothing.

As for the approaching 60 milestone. These things are easy for me since I am eternally no older than 13 and not infrequently am demoted to 12.  I really feel no different at 61 than I did at 18. Except for there is not a chance I could get into 30inch waist Levi's and everything is a bit sore and my joints are a bit stiff when getting out of bed. Sleeping should not end in a wake up that feels like I have been working out.

Happy B-Day ESMOD.  Never forget. 60 is the new 13.  At least according to my bride in my case.

With your father's contribution to your genetics, 60 is likely just barely middle age.


 

Last edited by Rags (9/30/2025 9:00 pm)