Had a long spell of marital harmony with my DH - after several years of turbulence as a result of SD30's behaviour towards me in 2022.  However, it came to an end yesterday, as a result of guess who?  Yes, SD30.  She basically wants to become an actor,  do little in the meantime, and has convinced DH to give her 6 months funding to do this.  Her job (front of house in a cinema)  was already part time - something like 20 hrs a week - now she is reducing it even more in order to "have time" to look for a better job.  The entitlement of this I find gob-smacking.  
It also brought all my hurt to the surface over the horrible things she said to me in 2022.  The worst part of this is I feel DH didn't acknowledge them fully, because he was too busy trying to appease her, and threatening me with divorce if I didn't appease her.  Needless to say I refused, and have refused to see her since.  She complained on the phone to him yesterday that she is "banned" from our house - this isn't true. I have repeatedly suggested to DH over the last 3 yrs that he can invite her here and I will go stay with my friend.  But he doesn't like this idea. Fine, but I am not changing my boundaries to accommodate her. 
So no, I didn't have a great Sunday.  

It is indeed emotional abuse to threaten divorce - and I have given him to understand it must never happen again.  Unlike him I do not threaten divorce.  I didn't when I left my first marriage.  But I would leave if DH did it again, even though I am 68.  When I joined Step Talk I was 54 - oh what a long time ago!  

Nothing horrible happening.. nothing super great either..haha.

I'm staring down the big 60 in October.. very mixed feelings.. and a bit of melancholy over my own mortality tbh.. but better to get here than not.. I know many who haven't made 6 decades.

Part of my mortality musing probably led me to the ER last week.  I know it sounds stupid.. and believe me.. the ER DR made me feel stupid.. but I coughed up what looked like a worm.. like almost 2 inches long.. round coiled up (sorry TMI).. It was unusual enough that I doom googled.. and the ONLY thing that I could see that it could be was a bronchial cast.. like that was literally the only option that was close to it.. in picture or description.. I mean it wasn't the whole bronchial tree.. but looked like a piece.. google and all med said that was an ER emergency.. so as I am paranoid at that point that I am going to die in my sleep and my DH was out of town.. I went to the ER.. they sent me home after just an Xray.. probably nothing.

It was just unusual.. and I didn't have any other symptoms.. though I was suffering some kind of virus a few weeks ago.. maybe something lingered? who knows.. anyway.. still hoping I make 60 LOL.

Went to see my 96 yo father.. he is still in hospice with congestive heart failure.. but seems to bump along with just diminished capacity.. mentally he is still pretty close to 100%.

Otherwise.. some ups and downs with my DH's job.. he has been part time.. was going to be pulled full time.. that went back to part time.. so who knows... the money would have been nice.. but we will persevere.. haha.

skid adult land.. quiet.. they are living their lives.

Yesterdays wrote:

Kes wrote:

She complained on the phone to him yesterday that she is "banned" from our house - this isn't true. I have repeatedly suggested to DH over the last 3 yrs that he can invite her here and I will go stay with my friend.  But he doesn't like this idea. Fine, but I am not changing my boundaries to accommodate her. 
So no, I didn't have a great Sunday.  

 

This sounds like something my husband would do /say. I've told him that I would be open to seeing my stepson again and he didn't acknowledge that at all. He never brought it up ever again after I said it and didn't respond to it. I once said something along the lines of that they could come and I would just leave for the day or something, he didn't like that either. At one point he was mad that he hadn't seen the kids in a while when literally I had asked him multiple times if he was going to see his kids and he was always busy. Then he had the audacity to say in an argument that I never would have allowed him to see his kids so he never got to see them (not sure why.. Since I was always suggesting he go visit them)

Now they are at college a couple of hours away. I asked him if he would go see them up in college or if they happen to come visit back home. His answer was just no. He didn't say why. I asked him why and he just didn't give an answer

So..... I really don't get how they make no plans then say it's our fault. They just don't want to look inward? Rather blame someone else?

Yesterdays - my DH does see his daughters regularly - he goes and meets them for the day - they just don't come here.  I have no argument with SD28 but she won't come here because SD30 isn't welcome - at least not when I'm doing the welcoming!  The status quo is OK with me - just not with SD30 - as if I give a crap about that!  ;-)