Tryingjusttrying wrote:

How are you feeling about that? With SS away at college, I'm finding it quite peaceful. I'm enjoying the absence of ongoing stress, which feels more and more like a distant memory. At the same time, the quiet has been kind of a blank canvas in which all sorts of unresolved feelings have been appearing. 

SS hasn't stayed over night here for like 6-8 months. His bedroom is exactly as he left it, so there are plenty of his things here. One day, I would like to convert it for another purpose, but I'm afraid of the anger that such a request could trigger in DH. I'm okay with it is as because I understand that college students need to know that there is room for them at their parents' home.

The big takeaway for me is that there was no reason for me to subject myself to all the distress of being a target of SS's unresolved anger and scapegoating. I'm never again going to sacrifice my health and peace of mind at the altar of SS. 

I'm feeling really good about it. Like a gigantic sigh of relief. It wasn't a sudden thing, but instead something that apparently happened in stages over time, and the dress (oddly enough) seemed to be the last "symbol" of any connection I've had with them. 

I think I've had a lot of time dealing with unresolved feelings. I thought I was at a good place until DH's health scare a few years ago and I saw the skids again (maybe I really wasn't at a good place. . . maybe I had just entered a period of peace and had made some self-preservation and-respect decisions that made me feel better). That visit brought up so much negative, and it was shortly afterwards when I cut off all contact with them (the last communication connection was social media). 

Even DH, very recently, has made some comments about his role as a father and how he is no longer willing to put in useless efforts. I think it really hit him that neither skid expressed sorrow to him about our dog passing. That dog meant a lot to us, and was a huge companion of DH's. Of course, SS was always jealous of that. 

Again, I think it seems to come in phases or waves until one day . . . .
It sounds like you're on a really good path. I love this: 
"I'm never again going to sacrifice my health and peace of mind at the altar of SS"  <--THIS!!! So glad to hear this! 

So sorry about the passing of your dog, I lost my lab earlier this year to cancer, it was hell, I miss her so much and my DH and BD20 want to get a new pet and I'm like nah I'm good, I just can't.

I understand the purging of items tainted by a toxic person or related event.  However, I also like empowering people and the tainted item by upcycling with great positive events and experiences.  A beautiful dress, etc, can have any number of opportunities to grow positive history.

 

advice.only2 wrote:

So sorry about the passing of your dog, I lost my lab earlier this year to cancer, it was hell, I miss her so much and my DH and BD20 want to get a new pet and I'm like nah I'm good, I just can't.

I'm so sorry for your loss, too. It is devastating. The void they leave is awful! 

MorningMia wrote:

ImperfectlyPerfect wrote:

Yeah....I had a relative pass away and 1 SKID who was visiting lost a distant relative whom he had infrequent contact with- extremely limited relationship. I was expected to feel for the SKID, wish him my condolences but there was NO expectation of the SKID to wish me anything - he stared blankly at me. My love IS conditional- it can not be expected that I am suppose to show empathy, sorrow, condolences and you can show nothing but apathy towards my situation. this was a great example of us both having a relative pass and adult male expecting ALL the treatment and grace - he acted out like a big old baby the entire time he was here excusing it for his grief and then there I am in the very same situation with a relative I actually had a more significant relationship with and I am expected to button it up with nothing in return- not even an acknowledgment. I sat silently with my grief and had to endure the pain of SKID lashing out. 
The dress - I am glad you sold it and I feel similar I don't feel I owe them much and I don't really care to have many reminders - it's always the same punishing environment with no reciprocation. Time to move on without a lot of that baggage saddled and strapped. Sell the things and move on to happier times @MorningMia. 

I felt sadness and some fury reading this. SD emailed me when my mother died. I hadn't heard from her in a long time. We really didn't have a relationship. And she inserted her mother into her fake condolence message. Silly me thought: Oh, she's reaching out (even though she inserted mommy), so I replied, only to get a big nothing in response. These people really are so selfish and cruel. And you are so right: it IS always the same punishing environment with zero reciprocation! 

It's like we are all living the same nightmare except as we figure out that it only gets worse we find ways to contain it. I treat it like a bad news show- I accidentally get exposed to it once and awhile but most of the time its not a digital screen that DH deals with because SKIDs don't visit so I just stay away whenever the calls come in and I know if one day I have to be around for one of them I will can always just turn off the channel. 

Back to another great piece of wisdom on this threat- sometimes the silence can be tough at first because all the emotions and resentment bubble up to the surface but if you DEAL with those emotions and ride them out eventually things do even out for you. I still get ticked at the historic treatment and sometimes triggered but I guarantee it does get better. And actions like "selling the dress" or throwing out the dog bowls (in my case) actually do lead to closure in my humble opinion. Stay the course- put yourself first and just leave those SKIDs to find someone else to mistreat. Also note my SKIDS don't have much of a life and are not interesting, worldly or smart - so I remember every time I don't have to put energy into them that I have an opportunity to do something that enhances my life rather than detracts or neutralizes it. That's a good headspace to think about it in- if they are doing that to you, you have better things to do with your time.
 

Last edited by ImperfectlyPerfect (3/09/2026 8:37 pm)

ImperfectlyPerfect wrote:

MorningMia wrote:

ImperfectlyPerfect wrote:

Yeah....I had a relative pass away and 1 SKID who was visiting lost a distant relative whom he had infrequent contact with- extremely limited relationship. I was expected to feel for the SKID, wish him my condolences but there was NO expectation of the SKID to wish me anything - he stared blankly at me. My love IS conditional- it can not be expected that I am suppose to show empathy, sorrow, condolences and you can show nothing but apathy towards my situation. this was a great example of us both having a relative pass and adult male expecting ALL the treatment and grace - he acted out like a big old baby the entire time he was here excusing it for his grief and then there I am in the very same situation with a relative I actually had a more significant relationship with and I am expected to button it up with nothing in return- not even an acknowledgment. I sat silently with my grief and had to endure the pain of SKID lashing out. 
The dress - I am glad you sold it and I feel similar I don't feel I owe them much and I don't really care to have many reminders - it's always the same punishing environment with no reciprocation. Time to move on without a lot of that baggage saddled and strapped. Sell the things and move on to happier times @MorningMia. 

I felt sadness and some fury reading this. SD emailed me when my mother died. I hadn't heard from her in a long time. We really didn't have a relationship. And she inserted her mother into her fake condolence message. Silly me thought: Oh, she's reaching out (even though she inserted mommy), so I replied, only to get a big nothing in response. These people really are so selfish and cruel. And you are so right: it IS always the same punishing environment with zero reciprocation! 

It's like we are all living the same nightmare except as we figure out that it only gets worse we find ways to contain it. I treat it like a bad news show- I accidentally get exposed to it once and awhile but most of the time its not a digital screen that DH deals with because SKIDs don't visit so I just stay away whenever the calls come in and I know if one day I have to be around for one of them I will can always just turn off the channel. 

Back to another great piece of wisdom on this threat- sometimes the silence can be tough at first because all the emotions and resentment bubble up to the surface but if you DEAL with those emotions and ride them out eventually things do even out for you. I still get ticked at the historic treatment and sometimes triggered but I guarantee it does get better. And actions like "selling the dress" or throwing out the dog bowls (in my case) actually do lead to closure in my humble opinion. Stay the course- put yourself first and just leave those SKIDs to find someone else to mistreat. Also note my SKIDS don't have much of a life and are not interesting, worldly or smart - so I remember every time I don't have to put energy into them that I have an opportunity to do something that enhances my life rather than detracts or neutralizes it. That's a good headspace to think about it in- if they are doing that to you, you have better things to do with your time.
 

Not that I'm doing it for this reason, but I think one of the worst "punishments" for the skids is us not crying over, whining over, or pining for them--no reaction from us. That was clearly a goal of theirs for years. I think it probably especially burns their mother that the dangling of the widdle grandchildren like carrots hasn't worked. I wouldn't know those kids if they were playing in my driveway. 

When I was connected with the skids via social media, I knew (I could feel it) they enjoyed the games (from their end), and there were many. DH always said, "People [meaning his kids] use social media to hurt each other and start wars." Their treatment of us (on and off social media--primarily off) caused us to say to one another, "My God, we're treated like child molesters." DH confronted them with that one. No response. They feel justified. They are also beholden to their mother, the master. 

With these types, it is best to just give up and move on.  "You win! Wow! Look at the prize!" 

MorningMia - "Not that I'm doing it for this reason, but I think one of the worst "punishments" for the skids is us not crying over, whining over, or pining for them--no reaction from us. That was clearly a goal of theirs for years. I think it probably especially burns their mother that the dangling of the widdle grandchildren like carrots hasn't worked. I wouldn't know those kids if they were playing in my driveway. 
When I was connected with the skids via social media, I knew (I could feel it) they enjoyed the games (from their end), and there were many. DH always said, "People [meaning his kids] use social media to hurt each other and start wars." Their treatment of us (on and off social media--primarily off) caused us to say to one another, "My God, we're treated like child molesters." DH confronted them with that one. No response. They feel justified. They are also beholden to their mother, the master. 

With these types, it is best to just give up and move on.  "You win! Wow! Look at the prize!" "

It is absolute truth that these types get all kinds of butt hurt and spun up over being irrelevant and ignored.

Though not a concerted plan on our part, this is what we landed on early in our blended family journey.  Ignore their whining and crying and go full immediate pain and confrontation on their manipulations.

At first DW took the be nice, so they do not take it out on SS path.  Which they did anyway.  When I was able to get her to see reality that jumping through her arse backwards to accommodate their  did not protect SS as they were taking it out on him anyway, she landed on the zero tolerance and "no means no" model with them when SS was moving out of the late toddler stage and into the little boy and beyond stages. 

The years of sending a toilet trained, verbal, clean, healthy, happy toddler/little boy to SpermLand for visitation and getting back a loaded diaper/pull-up wearing, non-verbal, stinking, unbathed for who knows how long, waif with quarter inch long finger and toe nails with black goo under them, black sludge in his arm pits, around his waist band, and behind his knees, B.O. that would gag a maggot, diaper rash so bad his anus would bleed from how raw he was and with a  rump covered with puss filled lumps, nearly broke us. 

Not financially but shatteringly broken to our collective core.  We would take him to his pediatrician on our way to drop him off at the airport with SpermGreatGrandPa 1 or 2 depending on who the Hag mandated pick him up.  We would then take him to his pediatrician  to get his nasty condition recorded on our way home from picking him up at the airport.  We never would take his escort to their hotel. We took the kid, left the escort standing on the curb, and headed to the Doctor's office.  Which of course infuriated the Hag.  How dare we abandon her daddy or FIL on the curb at the airport.  In hindsight I feel terrible about that.  Those men were as upset as we were over how SS was treated while on visitation.

Also not by design but far more sad, SS observed the entire journey he lived as a kid under a Custody/Visitation/Support CO and saw them for who and what they are and saw his mom and me, my family, and the life we lived as who and what we are and how we worked hard to make a good life for him and for us.  It took a while for him to transition past the kid perspective that it was not fair that he/we lived well, and they whined and cried about that.  Once he realized that their crap was all manipulation, he started to adjust his view of their reality Vs the facade.

Sadly, he wrote them off incrementally as he progressed through his teens.  The beginning of the end came when he turned 18.  They went no contact until he shared that he had reported toMEPS to start his USAF enlistment. They immediately demanded that he start repaying all of the CS they had paid over 17yrs.  He ignored them. That infuriated them so they started the guilt trip that he had to set up direct payroll withholding from his pay to SpermGrandHag's account because his three younger also out of wedlock half sibs by two other baby mamas were starving, it wasn't fair that SS had grown up with a nice home, nice things, good schools, etc... and it was his duty to support them.  Nope, he ignored that too.

It has been more than 10yrs that he has been no contact with them.  Though they earned it, it breaks my heart that he is burdened by that crap.

They make no effort until their online spying uncovers that he is visiting his mom and me, or my family, and occasionally my ILs.  Primarily they stalk my FB, less so my DW's FB, they stalk my ILs FB accounts, and his cousin's (my niece and nephews') FB accounts.  Then they go full whining and crying on him to visit them e when they see that he is with us.  He does not even recognize their crap anymore or respond in any way.

Though I know it hurts him.  

Them being irrelevant goads them to no end.  Which is Karma that they have more than earned.

 

Last edited by Rags (3/10/2026 2:31 pm)

I’m so sorry about the passing of your pup. They give more love than most humans..

Rags wrote:

MorningMia - "Not that I'm doing it for this reason, but I think one of the worst "punishments" for the skids is us not crying over, whining over, or pining for them--no reaction from us. That was clearly a goal of theirs for years. I think it probably especially burns their mother that the dangling of the widdle grandchildren like carrots hasn't worked. I wouldn't know those kids if they were playing in my driveway. 
When I was connected with the skids via social media, I knew (I could feel it) they enjoyed the games (from their end), and there were many. DH always said, "People [meaning his kids] use social media to hurt each other and start wars." Their treatment of us (on and off social media--primarily off) caused us to say to one another, "My God, we're treated like child molesters." DH confronted them with that one. No response. They feel justified. They are also beholden to their mother, the master. 

With these types, it is best to just give up and move on.  "You win! Wow! Look at the prize!" "

It is absolute truth that these types get all kinds of butt hurt and spun up over being irrelevant and ignored.

Though not a concerted plan on our part, this is what we landed on early in our blended family journey.  Ignore their whining and crying and go full immediate pain and confrontation on their manipulations.

At first DW took the be nice, so they do not take it out on SS path.  Which they did anyway.  When I was able to get her to see reality that jumping through her arse backwards to accommodate their  did not protect SS as they were taking it out on him anyway, she landed on the zero tolerance and "no means no" model with them when SS was moving out of the late toddler stage and into the little boy and beyond stages. 

The years of sending a toilet trained, verbal, clean, healthy, happy toddler/little boy to SpermLand for visitation and getting back a loaded diaper/pull-up wearing, non-verbal, stinking, unbathed for who knows how long, waif with quarter inch long finger and toe nails with black goo under them, black sludge in his arm pits, around his waist band, and behind his knees, B.O. that would gag a maggot, diaper rash so bad his anus would bleed from how raw he was and with a  rump covered with puss filled lumps, nearly broke us. 

Not financially but shatteringly broken to our collective core.  We would take him to his pediatrician on our way to drop him off at the airport with SpermGreatGrandPa 1 or 2 depending on who the Hag mandated pick him up.  We would then take him to his pediatrician  to get his nasty condition recorded on our way home from picking him up at the airport.  We never would take his escort to their hotel. We took the kid, left the escort standing on the curb, and headed to the Doctor's office.  Which of course infuriated the Hag.  How dare we abandon her daddy or FIL on the curb at the airport.  In hindsight I feel terrible about that.  Those men were as upset as we were over how SS was treated while on visitation.

Also not by design but far more sad, SS observed the entire journey he lived as a kid under a Custody/Visitation/Support CO and saw them for who and what they are and saw his mom and me, my family, and the life we lived as who and what we are and how we worked hard to make a good life for him and for us.  It took a while for him to transition past the kid perspective that it was not fair that he/we lived well, and they whined and cried about that.  Once he realized that their crap was all manipulation, he started to adjust his view of their reality Vs the facade.

Sadly, he wrote them off incrementally as he progressed through his teens.  The beginning of the end came when he turned 18.  They went no contact until he shared that he had reported toMEPS to start his USAF enlistment. They immediately demanded that he start repaying all of the CS they had paid over 17yrs.  He ignored them. That infuriated them so they started the guilt trip that he had to set up direct payroll withholding from his pay to SpermGrandHag's account because his three younger also out of wedlock half sibs by two other baby mamas were starving, it wasn't fair that SS had grown up with a nice home, nice things, good schools, etc... and it was his duty to support them.  Nope, he ignored that too.

It has been more than 10yrs that he has been no contact with them.  Though they earned it, it breaks my heart that he is burdened by that crap.

They make no effort until their online spying uncovers that he is visiting his mom and me, or my family, and occasionally my ILs.  Primarily they stalk my FB, less so my DW's FB, they stalk my ILs FB accounts, and his cousin's (my niece and nephews') FB accounts.  Then they go full whining and crying on him to visit them e when they see that he is with us.  He does not even recognize their crap anymore or respond in any way.

Though I know it hurts him.  

Them being irrelevant goads them to no end.  Which is Karma that they have more than earned.

 

What a nightmare, Rags! It must have killed you all to get your young son back in that kind of condition! How horrible. And that these . . .  . . . expected him to repay child support? I am so glad he has had nothing to do with them. They sound like a nightmare reality TV show. I'm so sorry! 

Missk03 wrote:

I’m so sorry about the passing of your pup. They give more love than most humans..

Thank you. And I agree with you! 

MorningMia wrote:

Rags wrote:

MorningMia - "Not that I'm doing it for this reason, but I think one of the worst "punishments" for the skids is us not crying over, whining over, or pining for them--no reaction from us. That was clearly a goal of theirs for years. I think it probably especially burns their mother that the dangling of the widdle grandchildren like carrots hasn't worked. I wouldn't know those kids if they were playing in my driveway. 
When I was connected with the skids via social media, I knew (I could feel it) they enjoyed the games (from their end), and there were many. DH always said, "People [meaning his kids] use social media to hurt each other and start wars." Their treatment of us (on and off social media--primarily off) caused us to say to one another, "My God, we're treated like child molesters." DH confronted them with that one. No response. They feel justified. They are also beholden to their mother, the master. 

With these types, it is best to just give up and move on.  "You win! Wow! Look at the prize!" "

It is absolute truth that these types get all kinds of butt hurt and spun up over being irrelevant and ignored.

Though not a concerted plan on our part, this is what we landed on early in our blended family journey.  Ignore their whining and crying and go full immediate pain and confrontation on their manipulations.

At first DW took the be nice, so they do not take it out on SS path.  Which they did anyway.  When I was able to get her to see reality that jumping through her arse backwards to accommodate their  did not protect SS as they were taking it out on him anyway, she landed on the zero tolerance and "no means no" model with them when SS was moving out of the late toddler stage and into the little boy and beyond stages. 

The years of sending a toilet trained, verbal, clean, healthy, happy toddler/little boy to SpermLand for visitation and getting back a loaded diaper/pull-up wearing, non-verbal, stinking, unbathed for who knows how long, waif with quarter inch long finger and toe nails with black goo under them, black sludge in his arm pits, around his waist band, and behind his knees, B.O. that would gag a maggot, diaper rash so bad his anus would bleed from how raw he was and with a  rump covered with puss filled lumps, nearly broke us. 

Not financially but shatteringly broken to our collective core.  We would take him to his pediatrician on our way to drop him off at the airport with SpermGreatGrandPa 1 or 2 depending on who the Hag mandated pick him up.  We would then take him to his pediatrician  to get his nasty condition recorded on our way home from picking him up at the airport.  We never would take his escort to their hotel. We took the kid, left the escort standing on the curb, and headed to the Doctor's office.  Which of course infuriated the Hag.  How dare we abandon her daddy or FIL on the curb at the airport.  In hindsight I feel terrible about that.  Those men were as upset as we were over how SS was treated while on visitation.

Also not by design but far more sad, SS observed the entire journey he lived as a kid under a Custody/Visitation/Support CO and saw them for who and what they are and saw his mom and me, my family, and the life we lived as who and what we are and how we worked hard to make a good life for him and for us.  It took a while for him to transition past the kid perspective that it was not fair that he/we lived well, and they whined and cried about that.  Once he realized that their crap was all manipulation, he started to adjust his view of their reality Vs the facade.

Sadly, he wrote them off incrementally as he progressed through his teens.  The beginning of the end came when he turned 18.  They went no contact until he shared that he had reported toMEPS to start his USAF enlistment. They immediately demanded that he start repaying all of the CS they had paid over 17yrs.  He ignored them. That infuriated them so they started the guilt trip that he had to set up direct payroll withholding from his pay to SpermGrandHag's account because his three younger also out of wedlock half sibs by two other baby mamas were starving, it wasn't fair that SS had grown up with a nice home, nice things, good schools, etc... and it was his duty to support them.  Nope, he ignored that too.

It has been more than 10yrs that he has been no contact with them.  Though they earned it, it breaks my heart that he is burdened by that crap.

They make no effort until their online spying uncovers that he is visiting his mom and me, or my family, and occasionally my ILs.  Primarily they stalk my FB, less so my DW's FB, they stalk my ILs FB accounts, and his cousin's (my niece and nephews') FB accounts.  Then they go full whining and crying on him to visit them e when they see that he is with us.  He does not even recognize their crap anymore or respond in any way.

Though I know it hurts him.  

Them being irrelevant goads them to no end.  Which is Karma that they have more than earned.

 

What a nightmare, Rags! It must have killed you all to get your young son back in that kind of condition! How horrible. And that these . . .  . . . expected him to repay child support? I am so glad he has had nothing to do with them. They sound like a nightmare reality TV show. I'm so sorry! 

Definitely low-class Jerry Springer people with a disgusting superiority complex.  What was that much more infuriating is that when we presented the pics of it all to the Judge along with reports from the pediatrician the Judge commented "Any child would be blessed to have the love of this family."  Then closed that hearing with no change, no comment to the low life scum who tortured a toddler with filth and diaper rash from hell.

Of course the Hag cleaned that Judges office.  
 

MorningMia wrote:

Rags:  Of course the Hag cleaned that Judges office.  

Before I got to the end of your response, I began to wonder about the spermclan's connection to the judge. It's this kind of thing that results in children literally dying at the hands of abusers. It is beyond maddening. 
Chuckling, though, over these people thinking they're superior to others. 
 

For years the SpermGrandHag had a side business cleaning offices and homes for Lawyers and Judges.   We were fortunate that SpermLand has tight enough guidelines on family law cases, primarily Custody/Visitation/Support actions that the Judges were not able to do too much damage.  DW was a single teen mom.  Generally teen moms get custody baring any extenuating circumstances.  No paternity was indicated on SS's birth certificate though there was no other possible candidates.  DW booted the Spermidiot when my then not yet met FIL saw the Spermidiot mugging with another 16yo in town and told my FDW.  That was it.  Shortly after kicking him out of the travel trailer they were living in with the baby on my future IL's farm, FDW filed a paternity/CS action against the Spermidiot. That Judge upheld full physical and legal custody for my DW and invoked a CS order against the Spermidiot.  The family attorney retired immediately after that hearing. It was his final hearing.  He had been both my MIL's and FIL's family attorney for generations.  In that case, strong relationships with Judges were beneficial to my FDW's side of things.

It took me engaging the local paper with a full-page advertisement to highlight that the Judge, who was up for re-election, had ordered a toddler into the presence of a despicable individual including his very long arrest record.  No convictions likely due to mommy's relationships with the legal community in their county.  His Honor had family who worked at the paper and called him. He called our attorney; our attorney called me to ask me to withdraw the ad before it ran.  I agreed if the Judge would agree to recuse himself from any further court actions associated with my SS.  So, I pulled the ad, and our high dollar though group hug focused local SpermLand attorney was able to preserve relationships with Judges and the rest of the SpermLand county legal community.  She considered me a loose cannon and a risk to her business in the community.  That taught us our lessen that an attorney works for us and we have to hold our attorney to perform to our requirements regardless of their sensitivities to community and professional relationships.   

Interestingly, the SpermClan spent time every summer at lake cabins owned by various Judges and prominent attorneys in SpermLand.  It was not until we ended up on the docket of a lady Admin Law Judge for a telephone hearing that the shenanigans in the county courthouse in SpermLand were relegated to the sideline for our situation.

The hearings in the courthouse were always odd.  Lots of lectures to the Spermidiot, Judges expressing frustration regarding how the court actions were a waste of time, and how the Judge "...  hope everyone is happy and now (I) will do what (I) always do."  Then another 10mins of lectures and humiliation for the Spermidiot regarding his arrest record, his inappropriate attire in court, etc... and .... No primary change to anything though it was the SpermGrandHag who had gone after custody on behalf of the Spermidiot (including forging his signature).  Then SpermGrandPa would grumble when CS went up slightly as it was SpermGrandHag who was paying the Spermidiot's CS obligation on all of his spawn by 3 different baby mamas out of SpermGrandHag's and SpermGrandPa's income.  Though the first two hearings (one when SS was 1yo before DW and I met) and the other the day before SS's 2nd B-day (5days after we married) were prior to the arrival of Spermidiot spawn 2-4.  The Hag  bribbed baby mama #2 and #3 with paying CS if they would leave the kids in her charge in her home.  It was basically SpermGrandHag's GK breeding investment via the Spermidiot.

Interestingly, #2 is the only girl and SpermGrandPa's favorite.  #1 is my son and was neglected incredibly during visitations.  Though I have no detail on how #3 and #4 were treated, #3 is in prison and #4 is not far behind #3.  So I can only surmise that neither #3 nor #4 were treated particularly well.

Not really anything relevant, but it always bugged me that since DW petitioned for paternity and an initial CS order, any action following that she was always designated as the petitioner and the Spermidiot was the respondent even when it was the SpermClan petitioning for some court action. 

Wow, Rags, brilliant move: 

It took me engaging the local paper with a full-page advertisement to highlight that the Judge, who was up for re-election, had ordered a toddler into the presence of a despicable individual including his very long arrest record.  No convictions likely due to mommy's relationships with the legal community in their county.  His Honor had family who worked at the paper and called him. He called our attorney; our attorney called me to ask me to withdraw the ad before it ran.  I agreed if the Judge would agree to recuse himself from any further court actions associated with my SS.  So, I pulled the ad, and our high dollar though group hug focused local SpermLand attorney was able to preserve relationships with Judges and the rest of the SpermLand county legal community.  She considered me a loose cannon and a risk to her business in the community.  That taught us our lessen that an attorney works for us and we have to hold our attorney to perform to our requirements regardless of their sensitivities to community and professional relationships.   

Last edited by MorningMia (3/12/2026 5:11 am)

MorningMia - It worked but was not a planned thing.  It was also a very bad idea over all.

When we walked out of court approaching 32yrs ago I was ticked.  We spent a crap ton of $$$ for the robed dipshidiot slinging the wooden Fisher-Price Toddlers Hammer to say "I hope everyone feels better because now I am going to do what I always do!"  $10K of our money for him to just do what he always did.  The local Newspaper office was across the street and I decided that the constituents should know who they were considering keeping on the bench.

After that, we ran into him downtown a few of times over many years.  There was a really good coffee/sandwich/salad shop with a small stage for live music that was downtown near the courthouse. My DW loved it.  So when we were in SpermLand visiting my ILs we would go to that little place a few times while we were there.  Twice we saw him in the restaurant.  The first we were in line ordering, he walked in, saw me, turned around and left.  Another time he was seated with a few other people, we walked in, and the conversation at his table came to a dead stop.  We ordered and sat down.  He left shortly after that though the other parties at his table stayed.  The last time we ran into him we were walking downtown, I do not recall why, he was approaching us from the opposite direction and when he recognized us, he jaywalked across the street mid-block to not pass us closely.

I was excluded from the hearing other than when I was sworn in and testifying.  He had informed me that I was not a party to the case when I protested about being excluded from the hearing. The SpermClan lawyer moved to exclude witnesses because the SpermIdiot did not want his parents and GPs to hear everything he knew would come up in the hearing.  When I was called to testify the SpermClan bottom feeder attorney requested my income information. I refused as the Judge had already ruled that I was not a party to the case.  My perspective was that if I am not a party to the case, my income is no one's business.  It was also SpermLand rules that SParent income is not considered for CS.  The Judge ordered me to provide my income. I asked "Which is it your Honor. Am I or am I not a party to the case? It can't be both. Besides, my income cannot be considered in calculating child support."  He then threatened me with contempt if I said another word and did not provide my income information.  So, I sat there and zipped my lips while he continued to demand by income information.  When he figured out I was not saying a word in violation of his threat to hold me in contempt if I said a word, he turned purple.  He got very irritated at that point.  He then again demanded my income information, which I just tapped my finger on the manilla envelope I had placed on the corner of the bench when I was called to testify and sworn in.  I did not say a word.  Then the SpermClan's lawyer asked me questions that I did not respond to.  The Judge them ordered me to answer their questions. I informed the Judge that I couldn't because he had ordered me not to say another word or I would be held in contempt.  And again, asked "Which was it. Be in contempt for saying something or not saying something."  He then instructed me to answer the questions.  No more threats of contempt.

I do not recommend this perspective. I was lucky I did not cause major issues for my then wife of 5days and my not yet 2yo SS.  Fortunately, the Spermidiot is such a dirtbag that my stubborn stupidity did not cause a major problem.  I am also lucky to have not been held in contempt which likely could have given me a record that could plague me for the rest of my career.

After the long day in court after the Judge issued his ruling and closed the hearing.  I walked through the gate in the rail/bar and was talking with my wife and our lawyer when the Judge ordered me behind the bar. I pointed out that court was not in session.  He instructed the bailiff to have me step behind the bar.  When I once again pointed out that he had no authority since court was not in session (which I was absolutely wrong about), he left through the door from the courtroom to his chambers.  Our lawyer's eyes about exploded out of her head at that point.  The bailiff who was an older officer then just gave me a look, shook his head, and waved me behind the bar though the Judge had left the courtroom.

I was not loud or threatening.  I just had no use for the Judge who had wasted a crap ton of our money and time.  Nothing we presented nor anything the SpermClan presented made a damned bit of difference.  The whole day started with the Judge requesting to postpone the hearing so he could preside over a murder trial.  A rarity in that tiny town.   My wife and I reminded our attorney that the hearing had been postponed three previous times by the SpermClan as a financial manipulation to force us to repeatedly fly back to SpermLand for court that would then be canceled or postponed for any number of bs reasons.  Our attorney did present that in a manner that kept the hearing on the docket for the day.  A very loooooong day that wasted everyone's time and crap tons of our money.

Be prepared, have your strategy well planned and mapped out. But do not be antagonistic towards the Judge. Ever. For any reason.  Though I was excluded as not being a party to the case for the next 16+ years while my financial records were always demanded.  After the first time, I just bit my tongue and provided the information.  

Don't do what I did.