In my experience, and I think generally common in most jurisdictions, a Custody/Visitation/Support CO is active until the child reaches the later of either 18yo or HS graduation.   Unless the kid drops out of school at which point the NCP can petition for relief from the CO under forced emancipation statutes.  Depending on the State.  If a kid turns 18 and does not graduate HS, some jurisdictions extend CS to the earlier of either HS graduation or age 19.  Look up your State's regs and get a copy of your County's supplemental jurisdictional rules.

Interestingly, jurisdictions do not necessarily automatically end the CO at the qualifying point.  Many jurisdictions require that either party to the CO, the petitioner or the respondent, file to end the CO once the kid ages out from under the CO.  

Some States/jurisdictions have later stipulations for a kid aging out from under a CO.  Some States have a higher age of emancipation which can be as high as 21yo.   

In the case of special needs children with a severe physical or mental disability, CS may be ordered to continue indefinitely until the child is no longer disabled or becomes self-supporting.

In our case, SS turned 18 3mos after graduating from HS.  His SpermClan had pre-filed to end CS on his birthday.  Not a problem. Though just more of the usual crap from them.  SS asked to extend is final COd SpermLand visitation to have his birthday with "them" as they had never scheduled their summer visitation to include his birthday since that would have allowed his mom, my wife, to take a 10-day mid visitation period with SS that could include July 4th.  The CO allowed for DW to have SS for 10 days any time during the SpermClan's 5wks of summer visitation as long as that 10-days did not start until two full weeks of visitation had occurred and the kid was returned at the end of the 10 days to complete the rest of their 5wks of summer visitation.

The pathetic from them amplified the day after SS's 18th birthday when the SpermClan demanded that he repay the full CS paid by them over 17+ years.  That made them a write off to him.  It took several years but he did finally write them off completely with zero place in his life.  He has had zero contact with any of them in 10+ years.  I am proud of him that he never paid them a single Cent of their whined for CS restitution. 

Read your CO. Some of this may be spelled out in that court doc. 

Keep in mind that family law, including the courts, are an integral element of the $Countless-Billion Parental Alienation and Financial Extortion industry.  Read every word of the CO, State Regs, Jurisditional Rules, etc....  Know it all inside out, upside down, forwards, and backwards.  Have your pit bull family law attorney on speeddial.  We never needed ours for court, except for the adult adoption when SS-33 asked me to adopt him when he was 22.  We used him as our legal advisor and as a big stick for sending official communications to the opposition on his law firm letter head.

Even at insane hourly billing rates, a true pitbull attorney with a spine is far more effective and far less expensive than the not unusually ineffective spineless bottom 10%ers of the legal profession who often end up practicing family law.  If your attorney even whispers about "can't we all just work together", fire them and hire a pitbull.

Good luck.  

Last edited by Rags (2/11/2026 5:37 pm)

ICanMakeIt wrote:

I'm curious more about the visitation during the last few months after turning 18 but before graduation. If mommykins tries to encourage munchkin NOT to come (would not surprise us in the least).

 It's been a challenge with this HCBM and every time she tries to say the child wants to end a visit early (we are long distance) come to find out it is the mom's idea not the child. I realize at some point the child becomes an adult and responsible for their self and needs to find their voice and speak up for themself, but we all know living basically full time with a HCBM, it is easier to disappoint daddy than to deal with the wrath of mommykins. 

Should we just plan on NOT having the child and be pleasantly surprised if they don't try and pull something? Or be ready with a strongly worded email if they attempt to cease the last remaining visits between 18 and graduation?

I'm so glad there is light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully not a freight train. 
 

Obviously the dynamic grows more risky once the kid reaches 18yo and can choose to visit or not. However, I am of the mind that the CO includes the later of "HS graduation or 18th B-day" which means even when the Skid-ult reaches 18 the CP is under the CO and can be smacked with a contempt motion if they do not surrender the kid for visitation per the CO.  So, have the contempt motion ready to immediately file against BM the second SS refuses visitation.

Our Unicorn blend and my Unicorn SParent journey had a number of simplifying elements including that my SS graduated HS at 17 and was subject to the visitation schedule until turning 18yo 3mos after completing HS.  If he had chosen to forego his final COd summer visitation we would have advised him to go but would also have had his back if he had said no.  In our case the risk was nearly zero that the SpermClan would have filed a contempt motion had he said no.  Even though we had smacked them with a few contempt motions for violating the CO over the 17yrs DW lived under the CO as the CP with full physical and legal custody.

SS went on his final 5wk summer visitation after graduating HS and even called and asked if he could extend by two weeks so he could spend his 18th B-day with the SpermClan. To deny my wife July 4th with the kid, they had always scheduled the start of their 5wks summer visit so she could not have the 4th.  That resulted in SS never having his birthday with them after his 1st birthday.  We agreed that SS could extend his final visitation to include his 18th B-day and did not inject drama but we also decided to minimize the risk that he would play the "I'm staying here and living with (the Spermidiot)." card.

To make it difficult for him to tell his mom that he was not comming home we made sure that he would have to tell her that to her face rather than via text or a phone call.  We flew my DW's youngest brother out, he had recently completed his active-duty Army enlistment, and he and my wife road tripped to the W coast so she could be in SpermLand at SpermGrandHag's door the day after SS's 18th B-Day to pick him up and bring him home.  I flew out and the three of us visited with my ILs for several days then road tripped E hitting a number of National Parks and destination way points along the way.   

SS was a little sullen for the first few days of our return home road trip.  Until we pulled up to the W Rim of the Grand Canyon and he was floored by the serene beauty.  After that few days we got back on the road E.  He was not nearly as introspective and sullen, but he did drop "I know you came out to get me so it would be hard for me to not come home.  I know who my real family is and where my home is you know." on us. 

He was always an old soul and a very wise kid.  Extremely observant and incredibly sharp.  It took another 4yrs of their drama, manipulation, and PASing for him to finally gain clarity that they really had no place in his life.  He asked me to adopt him when he was 22. We made that happen.  He completely wrote them off when he was in his mid to late 20s and has had zero contact with any of them since then. He is 33yo now. 

18 is no magic end to the blended drama in many cases.  Even aging out from under the CO is not an end in many cases.  The toxic opposition parent rarely becomes decent when a SKid reaches the age of majority and the manipulation, PAS, drama usually continues.  Unfortunately.

I hope that your concerns regarding your SS-18's final visitations are unfounded and that he finds his own courage to stand up to his BM's manipulation.  That is a hard thing for a kid to do.  It was for ours.

Last edited by Rags (2/11/2026 6:11 pm)

Rags wrote:

ICanMakeIt wrote:

I'm curious more about the visitation during the last few months after turning 18 but before graduation. If mommykins tries to encourage munchkin NOT to come (would not surprise us in the least).

 It's been a challenge with this HCBM and every time she tries to say the child wants to end a visit early (we are long distance) come to find out it is the mom's idea not the child. I realize at some point the child becomes an adult and responsible for their self and needs to find their voice and speak up for themself, but we all know living basically full time with a HCBM, it is easier to disappoint daddy than to deal with the wrath of mommykins. 

Should we just plan on NOT having the child and be pleasantly surprised if they don't try and pull something? Or be ready with a strongly worded email if they attempt to cease the last remaining visits between 18 and graduation?

I'm so glad there is light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully not a freight train. 
 

Obviously the dynamic grows more risky once the kid reaches 18yo and can choose to visit or not. However, I am of the mind that the CO includes the later of "HS graduation or 18th B-day" which means even when the Skid-ult reaches 18 the CP is under the CO and can be smacked with a contempt motion if they do not surrender the kid for visitation per the CO.  So, have the contempt motion ready to immediately file against BM the second SS refuses visitation.

Our Unicorn blend and my Unicorn SParent journey had a number of simplifying elements including that my SS graduated HS at 17 and was subject to the visitation schedule until turning 18yo 3mos after completing HS.  If he had chosen to forego his final COd summer visitation we would have advised him to go but would also have had his back if he had said no.  In our case the risk was nearly zero that the SpermClan would have filed a contempt motion had he said no.  Even though we had smacked them with a few contempt motions for violating the CO over the 17yrs DW lived under the CO as the CP with full physical and legal custody.

SS went on his final 5wk summer visitation after graduating HS and even called and asked if he could extend by two weeks so he could spend his 18th B-day with the SpermClan. To deny my wife July 4th with the kid, they had always scheduled the start of their 5wks summer visit so she could not have the 4th.  That resulted in SS never having his birthday with them after his 1st birthday.  We agreed that SS could extend his final visitation to include his 18th B-day and did not inject drama but we also decided to minimize the risk that he would play the "I'm staying here and living with (the Spermidiot)." card.

To make it difficult for him to tell his mom that he was not comming home we made sure that he would have to tell her that to her face rather than via text or a phone call.  We flew my DW's youngest brother out, he had recently completed his active-duty Army enlistment, and he and my wife road tripped to the W coast so she could be in SpermLand at SpermGrandHag's door the day after SS's 18th B-Day to pick him up and bring him home.  I flew out and the three of us visited with my ILs for several days then road tripped E hitting a number of National Parks and destination way points along the way.   

SS was a little sullen for the first few days of our return home road trip.  Until we pulled up to the W Rim of the Grand Canyon and he was floored by the serene beauty.  After that few days we got back on the road E.  He was not nearly as introspective and sullen, but he did drop "I know you came out to get me so it would be hard for me to not come home.  I know who my real family is and where my home is you know." on us. 

He was always an old soul and a very wise kid.  Extremely observant and incredibly sharp.  It took another 4yrs of their drama, manipulation, and PASing for him to finally gain clarity that they really had no place in his life.  He asked me to adopt him when he was 22. We made that happen.  He completely wrote them off when he was in his mid to late 20s and has had zero contact with any of them since then. He is 33yo now. 

18 is no magic end to the blended drama in many cases.  Even aging out from under the CO is not an end in many cases.  The toxic opposition parent rarely becomes decent when a SKid reaches the age of majority and the manipulation, PAS, drama usually continues.  Unfortunately.

I hope that your concerns regarding your SS-18's final visitations are unfounded and that he finds his own courage to stand up to his BM's manipulation.  That is a hard thing for a kid to do.  It was for ours.

Thank you so much! Ours does state the 18 or graduation stipulation but I didn't know if that really just indicated the CS which of course we always planned on paying through graduation. It has always been about the visitation time and having to deal with the games HCBM plays. 
I can argue the pros and cons both in my head regarding SK being an adult....who at face value should have say in what they do especially once being an adult but as we all know, in instances like this, is very much manipulated by the other parent.
I like the idea always of making the SK tell DH in person, that's how we discovered this latest LIE from HCBM. Fingers crossed my worries are in vain.