Thanks for the update, 1dad6kids. So sad, but it does sound like it's a straight path from here for your dh and his ex to tie things up. That is really nice that your dh is going to reach out to your SS to reassure him that you're there for him as a kindred family. He has been through a lot and may one day appreciate that.

Rags wrote:

Of course, BM's response was that court was not necessary. This after she extorted a fortune in CS out of your DH.  

This whole thing is tragic.  All perpetrated by BM. She ruined so many lives and relationships with her Hoe'ing around, long perpetration of extortion, and complete lack of character and quality.  I truly hurt for this young man who now has to figure out a life no longer based on what he thought was reality.

If I were DH, I would stand firmly on the facts and make sure that the young man knows them fully and is reminded of them regularly if DH and his son maintain a relationship at all.  I could not imagine the pain your DH is experiencing through all of this.  Just the thought that I was my son's BioDad then a decade and a half after the delivery room I wasn't, breaks me.  My son is my son, but his mom had him when we met.  I was not her daddy extortion target.

That you and DH and your children have suffered a toxic blend that never had to happen or should have happened is beyond infuriating, I am sure.

Take care of each other.

Thanks Rags. This is a court win but not a life win. I feel sorry for SS16, I hope he got enough from his life with us to turn into a somewhat normal adult and that he escapes BM's influence.

StandingStrong wrote:

I am so sorry for your situation. Really no winners. Your DH with lots of CS paid. You investing so much time and resources into a child. Your own children. 

Like you, I have no compassion for the BM. She knew this all these years...so any emotional damage to her son is on her. I am very impressed with your DH, wanting to reach out and say you guys would still be his kindred family. Speaks volumes of you and your DH's character. Prayers for the best outcome for you and your family. Big hug.

It's tough for everyone, except BM. I'm just grateful we don't have to deal with her anymore now.

Very tragic situation for all involved. It’s wild BM is making it sound that somehow YOU all are the bad guys. I’m sure SS16 is struggling with all this and making herself out to be innocent… just another twisted plot in HCBMs playbook.

Missk03 wrote:

Very tragic situation for all involved. It’s wild BM is making it sound that somehow YOU all are the bad guys. I’m sure SS16 is struggling with all this and making herself out to be innocent… just another twisted plot in HCBMs playbook.

DH and I were wondering how she's making herself out to be the hero this time. Or the victim. Whichever one makes SS16 still think sunshine comes from her butt.

Court is tomorrow. DH thinks the judge won't request a court ordered paternity test since BM didn't contest anything. Guess we'll see.

The judge ruled in DH's favor- everything. SS16 is no longer DH's legal or biological son.

After the hearing I went to pick the kids up from school, BM was there to pick up her other kids and who would you know was riding shotgun (presumably skipping school) but SS16.

When I looked over at the vehicle he pulled his hood up over his head and zipped his jacket up to his eyeballs and hunkered down in the seat. I suppose so I wouldn't recognize the child I raised for nearly 16 years.

Not sure what lie BM spun to make me the bad guy but it's sure working.

1dad6kids wrote:

Rags wrote:

Good luck in court tomorrow.  Hopefully the Judge uses their head and does the logical and right thing rather than the BM focused BioDad alienating coddle fest.

Take care of each other and I'm hopeful that this young man can see reality and that his dad has always had his best interests in mind while countering BM's toxic self-serving agenda.

I would advise that your attorney motion to exclude witnesses from the court room until called to testify and that BM is ordered to limit any interface she has with SS on the topic to the facts.  I'm not sure if that part is even a possibility.

Our final hearing was an Admin Court Judge telephone hearing while SS was in SpermLand for his summer visitation when he was about 11yo.  I lost my after being told, yet again, that I wasn't a party to the case and while the hearing was progressing I hear our son and his 3 younger also out of wedlock Spermidiot spawned half sibs in the same room with the Spermidiot and SpermGrandHag while the hearing was on speaker phone.   When I passed that post-it to my bride her face turned purple and she instantly reminded the Judge that she had ruled that I was not a party to the case yet the Hag was clearly participating, and.... GET MY KID OUT OF THE ROOM!  The Judge appologized, ordered that the kids be removed from and kept out of the room, and that the Hag was not a party to the case.  The Hag lost her  over that.  Ranting that it was her house, the kids were in the living room and should not be banished from any room in "their" home, and "what difference does it make if I (the Hag) am in the room. I'm paying for all of this!". At that point my bride pointed out that the Hag had just confirmed that she was funding the Spermidiot's life which supported the earlier motion she made when the SpermClan motioned for my income to be considered for CS calculation.  DW had countermotioned that the Spermidiot received significant support from his parents and that their income should be included in calculation of the Spermidiot's CS obligation.

A great lawyer and a great Judge are commendable.  Though a severe rariety in the countles $Billion Alienation Industry.

I hope your Judge tomorrow is one of the rarities.

I'm glad your judge listened and the hag was banned. What business do children have listening to court negotiations anyway.

I didn't go with DH today, although in the past I have been present as his Agent. DH suffers from anxiety so I have been able to speak for him so he doesn't forget important details. I chose not to go today lest I lost my sh!t on BM. Who only appeared by phone like a coward. She lives exactly 5.5 blocks from the court house.

I assume the Judge did not make a ruling on the days events... yet.

In our situation there would have be no court actions at all except for a single CS review after 12yrs if not invoked by the SpermGrandHag.  When DW's small town grapevine transmitted that she was dating someone at University, the Hag started her campaign for dominance. A campaign that she lost repeatedly but for some reason never abandoned for more than the 16+ years we were under the CO.  DW had filed a paternity and support motion before she left the State of SpermLand for University out of State.  That Judge upheld full physical and legal custody of SS for her, assigned paternity to the Spermidiot (there was not nor has there ever been any doubt of that), and invoked a CS order of $110/mo.

We met about 4mos after that CO was invoked.  Within a month of us meeting, the Hag hired a bottom feeder lawyer, forged the Spermidiot's signature on a custody suit to take custody of SS from my then recently met GF and the games commenced.  P{roximity to court was flipped in our case from that of the BM you have to deal with.  We were out of State, they live basically in the backyard of the courthouse with Jurisdiction.   Not only that, but the Hag also cleans houses and offices for many of the Judges and lawyers in that county.  That made for some fun times for the 16+ years we countered her toxicity with legal action.  Fun, but not enough to overcome the inherent advantages that BMs, particularly single teen moms, have in Custody/Visitation/Support actions.

I understand the possibility of losing your  on the BM.  Anytime we were in court or on a deposition with anyone from the SpermClan present or participating I was always on the Rags-ed  edge of losing my proverbial  on them.  Also on the idiot Judge. Fortunately, I have been able to not go off while making my contempt known.  For the in-person hearings I was always excluded except when called to testify as the SpermClan lawyers were always very diligent about requesting exclusion of witnesses to prevent their friends and family from hearing all about the Spermidiot's serial statutory rapist career, serial out of wedlock breeding efforts, looooooong arrest record, and their shallow and polluted gene pool Shinanigans including SpermGrandPa's stable of cheat partners.   Our witness lists have always included a number of the SpermClan's victims in the community.  When those witnesses were called, all kinds of sparks would fly.  

For telephone hearings, I was always excluded as "not a party to the case".  It was funny how when DW would counter that the SpermGrandHag be excluded as "not a party to the case" the Spermidiot would get all antsy and the Hag would lose her mind over it.   

We adopted the tactic that what they motioned, we counter motioned targeting someone on their side when they targeted someone on ours.  Usually they targeted me, my income, etc...  Judges hated when they had excluded me from as not being a party to the case and I refused to provide my income information since I was "not a party to the case" neither was my income.  I did get threatened with contempt of court for that dance a couple of times over the years.  The most epic part of our final hearing was the SpermGPs losing their minds when their side motioned for my income to be included in CS calculation and we countered motioned for the SpermGP's income to be included in CS calculation as they were paying the CS, providing housing, cars, feeding the three younger Speridiot Spawn, etc... and providing far more than 50% of the Spermidiot's cost of living resources. Of course, to them, that was not fair.

I look forward to hearing about the outcome of DH's day in court.  I hope it went well.
 

Last edited by Rags (1/28/2026 3:50 am)

1dad6kids wrote:

Rags wrote:

I look forward to hearing about the outcome of DH's day in court.  I hope it went well.
 

Yes, I posted above. He gave DH everything he was asking for, except costs. $25 for the application, so it's no sweat off DH's back.

I missed it.  I'm sorry that SS-16 has doubled down on suckling the BM Kool-Aid.  Does DH intend to sue BM for paternity fraud and to recover CS? Though the odds are about zero of success, if it were me, I would do it just to get BM as much public exposure as possible for her crap.    In the off chance of a win, I would then make it clear that the money was going to send SS and your children to college.  Just to end it all with a final jab at BM.

Yes, petty and vindictive I know. But well earned by this BM IMHO.  The burden of proving knowledge and willfull misatribution of paternity is difficult and some States have statutes of limitations.  Judges not infrequently also focus on the "best interests of the child" rather than holding the BM accountable.  Though apparently reimbursement of fraudulently attained CS, damages for emotional distress, and punitive punitive damages can be ordered and awarded to the plaintif. 

How has DH's family responded to all of this?  Learning that the kid they have thought of as their GK, niece, nephew, cousin, etc... was fraudulently attibuted to DH.
 

Last edited by Rags (1/28/2026 3:45 am)

1dad6kids, I'm glad your DH didn't sue. It would likely end up being a lot of headache and heartache with an unsatisfactory result. As I've gotten older, the more I believe in taking the high road. Peace is priceless. Pick up the fragments and move forward as best you can. {{{hugs}}}