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1 of 1- 1dad6kids
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BM answered
We finally got BM's answer today to DH's application to be legally removed from his life. She didn't contest anything except the court costs. Guess $25 is too much to pay for screwing up her child's life.
Her last line says "had I known about the above I would have consented without the courts to save my son and I the emotional toll".
Boo hoo. Obviously this needed to be done through court, it's a legal process. And I don't give a f*ck about her emotional toll. Her life hasn't changed AT ALL.
Court is next Tuesday. She probably won't show up considering the answer she filed. DH should get everything he needs in one visit now.
We're sad. DH will still reach out to SS16 when this is all over and let him know that we're here for him as kindred family. Hopefully he realizes who was who someday.
- Tryingjusttrying
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Re: BM answered
Thanks for the update, 1dad6kids. So sad, but it does sound like it's a straight path from here for your dh and his ex to tie things up. That is really nice that your dh is going to reach out to your SS to reassure him that you're there for him as a kindred family. He has been through a lot and may one day appreciate that.
- StandingStrong
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Re: BM answered
I am so sorry for your situation. Really no winners. Your DH with lots of CS paid. You investing so much time and resources into a child. Your own children.
Like you, I have no compassion for the BM. She knew this all these years...so any emotional damage to her son is on her. I am very impressed with your DH, wanting to reach out and say you guys would still be his kindred family. Speaks volumes of you and your DH's character. Prayers for the best outcome for you and your family. Big hug.
- 1dad6kids
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Re: BM answered
Tryingjusttrying wrote:
Thanks for the update, 1dad6kids. So sad, but it does sound like it's a straight path from here for your dh and his ex to tie things up. That is really nice that your dh is going to reach out to your SS to reassure him that you're there for him as a kindred family. He has been through a lot and may one day appreciate that.
We're not holding our breath, but hopefully the olive branch is enough for him to know he is truly loved.
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Thread Starter- 1dad6kids
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Re: BM answered
I am so sorry for your situation. Really no winners. Your DH with lots of CS paid. You investing so much time and resources into a child. Your own children.
Like you, I have no compassion for the BM. She knew this all these years...so any emotional damage to her son is on her. I am very impressed with your DH, wanting to reach out and say you guys would still be his kindred family. Speaks volumes of you and your DH's character. Prayers for the best outcome for you and your family. Big hug.
It's tough for everyone, except BM. I'm just grateful we don't have to deal with her anymore now.
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Thread Starter- Missk03
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Re: BM answered
Very tragic situation for all involved. It’s wild BM is making it sound that somehow YOU all are the bad guys. I’m sure SS16 is struggling with all this and making herself out to be innocent… just another twisted plot in HCBMs playbook.
- 1dad6kids
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Re: BM answered
Very tragic situation for all involved. It’s wild BM is making it sound that somehow YOU all are the bad guys. I’m sure SS16 is struggling with all this and making herself out to be innocent… just another twisted plot in HCBMs playbook.
DH and I were wondering how she's making herself out to be the hero this time. Or the victim. Whichever one makes SS16 still think sunshine comes from her butt.
Court is tomorrow. DH thinks the judge won't request a court ordered paternity test since BM didn't contest anything. Guess we'll see.
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Thread Starter- 1dad6kids
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Re: BM answered
The judge ruled in DH's favor- everything. SS16 is no longer DH's legal or biological son.
After the hearing I went to pick the kids up from school, BM was there to pick up her other kids and who would you know was riding shotgun (presumably skipping school) but SS16.
When I looked over at the vehicle he pulled his hood up over his head and zipped his jacket up to his eyeballs and hunkered down in the seat. I suppose so I wouldn't recognize the child I raised for nearly 16 years.
Not sure what lie BM spun to make me the bad guy but it's sure working.
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Thread Starter- 1dad6kids
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Re: BM answered
I didn't go with DH today, although in the past I have been present as his Agent. DH suffers from anxiety so I have been able to speak for him so he doesn't forget important details. I chose not to go today lest I lost my sh!t on BM. Who only appeared by phone like a coward. She lives exactly 5.5 blocks from the court house.
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Thread Starter- Aniki-Moderator
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Re: BM answered
1dad6kids, I'm glad your DH didn't sue. It would likely end up being a lot of headache and heartache with an unsatisfactory result. As I've gotten older, the more I believe in taking the high road. Peace is priceless. Pick up the fragments and move forward as best you can. {{{hugs}}}