Thinkthrice Happy birthday!


This one was an important one for future retirement. You are approaching max SS benefits,  You are now Medicare eligible and no longer have to deal with the whole preexisting conditions thing, hopefully you do not have any of those to deal with. For me, that will be a big deal.  In 51mos.  It will be so nice to not have to rely on employers for health insurance which will be a first for me in my adult life.   Being able to leave an employer without having a new one on the line will be a strange new world for me.  This will also take some pressure off of my bride to provide heath insurance.  Though she is working for a very good firm and is enjoying it.

I hope that you can find happiness going forward.  The burden of boat anchor unengaged partner is painful.  I am fortunate to have only lived that for a couple of years, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away.

One more time, Happy birthday! 

Last edited by Rags (11/17/2025 5:38 pm)

Happy Birthday!  Like you, my DH is younger - six years in my case - I am 68 and he is 62. I am sorry that the relationship brings you so little joy - try and find this for yourself in other things if you can. 

Happy Birthday! 

Happy Birthday!! I’m sorry chef didn’t do anything for you.. hopefully you found some joy in your birthday.

Rumplestiltskin wrote:

Happy (late) Birthday! As far as “how women age”, that sounds like some incel/manosphere BS. These misogynists think that the fact that young attractive women often marry older guys means they are actually more attracted to older guys. Hint: these young beautiful models aren’t marrying the broke ones. They are attracted to something about them, though.

That’s a huge generalization, i know, but what i have noticed is that people age according to their genetics and lifestyle. At my last reunion, a lot of the women looked better than the men. But some men looked great, too. And some looked like they were 65 instead of 45. Something tells me you are aging better than Chef, despite being 8 years older, and he’s projecting his insecurities onto you. Don’t let him get you down! If your “outside” is half as sharp as your wit, you’re looking great!

Lol.  that sounds like some incel/manosphere BS. 

I think that people age according to their attitudes.  Mean, degrading asshats turn into trolls.  Overbearing harpies turn into hags.  Though there are certainly some incubus and succubus types who are pure evil but look pretty good on the surface.  The Spermidiot is one of them.  A nice looking 56yo who still predates on teen girls in malls and stalks gaming conventions and Comicons targeting the young women.

Don't get me started on how hard it is to breath in the presence of a confident, radiant, brilliant women with life experience.  Whew. I have the vapors.

There is nothing sexier than those little smile lines at the corners of sparkling eyes.  Color of eyes is irrelevant. It is about the sparkling..

Sharing a life with the one.  Experiencing the progression of her beauty over the decades.  Knowing that I put some small bit of those sexy little smile lines by those eyes.  That is what life and happiness are about. For me anyway.

I saw my mom grow from a young woman (she had me at 19, dad was 21) into a beautiful confident women, mom, grandmother, and now GGM. They had me two years after they married.  In many ways the three of us grew up together.  My brothers arrived 6yrs and 8yrs later.  When mom and my bride get together, watch out.  It is power lady magic.

As for reunions.  I have been to two of my bride's with her.  Her 10th when we had been married for approaching 9yrs. Then her 20th.  At her 10th she was still a little shaky and self-conscious about having been a teen mom at 16. Though the school tried to get her to quit HS and attend a pregnant teen GED program, she refused, stayed in school, and graduated with her class with honors. She had completed a dual major BS with honors 4yrs prior to her 10yr reunion, had a solid job with a Fortune 500 company, and was in grad school when we went.   She tried to backout. I did not let her.  I wanted her to see herself as she truly was and felt that seeing her classmates would help with that.  She was notably more accomplished than most of her classmates.  She drew a number of her classmates to our table to sit down and talk with her.   An interesting element of her 10yr reunion was a number of her classmates who commented that they expected her to have several children.  Nope, just the one that was on her hip at HS graduation. For the most part I just sat to the side, let her know that I was there, and watched it all for the most part.  I had recently turned 40 so there were some looks and side whispers among her classmates.

Then there was her 20th.  It was held a few weeks before our 19th anniversary.  We had been living overseas for a few years, she had completed grad school, passed the CPA exam, had a great career, was tall, elegant, brilliant, and confident.  She was still worried about the single teen mom thing. But not for long. When we walked into the kickoff patio mixer at a go to restaurant in her hometown it went silent.  She was truly stunning.  She was in white jeans, designer shoes, a stylish top, and modestly but notably jeweled and pursed.  Our son had graduated HS and joined the USAF two years prior.  Only a couple of people even mentioned our son.  Her BFF laughed through just about the entire 3day reunion event over how my bride was a flame drawing all of the moths.  The Prom King and Queen were nothing notable in life.  There was a doctor and a lawyer.  Several who had graduated from university, a number of divorce's a couple of multiple divorced people. A lot of parents, a few GPs.  A few had passed away, some were in prison.  Nothing unusual as far as any HS graduating class 2oyrs later I suppose.  I had two of her male classmates approach me and bring me drinks who then professed the huge crush they had on my bride in HS but were too afraid to ask her out because "she was so beautiful".  In her mind, she was the poor girl, gawky teen with the baby.  Even when she was that person, she was clearly incredibly notable to her peers.  I saw it instantly when I first saw her.  She still upon occasion will not see it.  That is what I am for.

She got a couple of honors from the reunion committee during the festivities. I got the "Coolest Husband Award".  Woo hoo! All I did was stand back, let her know that I was there, and would touch her back reassuringly when I saw her confidence falter a bit.  I did have to step out of the final night formal dinner, dance and award event for an international conference call in the car.  It was interesting that a few people poked their heads out of the theater, looked around, gave me a wave when they saw me in the rental car (Yes, I rented a Benz), then popped back into the event.

We renewed our vows in her home town the next summer on our 20th.  The town paper did a spread on the renewal, and on my bride.  A couple of her HS BFFs attended.  Most people renew on their 25th. I proposed that we do it on our 20th in her home town so my FIL could walk her down the isle.  His speech when he walked her down the isle to take my arm was hillarious. He told me "There are no give backs and that (he) was done paying  me to keep her."  He passed a year before our 25th.  His health was failing which is why I suggested for us to do it on our 20th.  

My basic message on mature women and beauty, arseholes are irrelevant. Don't give them space in your head.  If the man is not adding a bit to those sexy little smile lines at the corners of your sparkling eyes, if they add frown lines, pain, and hurt, write them off and make sure the door hits them in the arse on their way out.  Tolerate no one but those who add to your life and your joy.  No man is necessary in your life just as no women is necessary in the life of a man. But when the right man or woman is in your life, hang on for the ride.  I experienced being a man that I did not enjoy being during my first marriage.  I tolerated less than. Never again.  No one should ever tolerate less than.  If a man is painting you as too much or not enough, tell him to go find less.  Dickheads who would tear down their bride will never find more. Ever.  Adulterous abusive partners not withstanding of course. Even if they occassionally make you smile, they have no place.  Been there. Never again.

Focus on life's adventure. Love it, enjoy it.  When the couple is the right one, doing it together, the love for the ages will happen.  Tolerate nothing less.



Now to swallow this lump in my throat.  You ladies are incredible. Never doubt that.


 

Last edited by Rags (11/25/2025 5:41 pm)