As challenging as this is, that DH is boxing SD and BM in by engaging with the teacher, and the teacher may recognize that you and dad may be allies in this situation are all positives.  

Taking away the conduit for SD and mommy playing their games is a great tactical move IMHO.  

Continually tightening the box around them has to happen if this kid has any chance of growing to viable adulthood.

Last edited by Rags (10/14/2025 3:38 pm)

Rags wrote:

As challenging as this is, that DH is boxing SD and BM in by engaging with the teacher, and the teacher may recognize that you and dad may be an allies in this situation are all positives.  

Taking away the conduit for SD and mommy playing their games is a great tactical move IMHO.  

Continually tightening the box around them has to happen if this kid has any chance of growing to viable adulthood.

Hopefully that happens eventually, but only time will tell! 

StandingStrong - Sadly, the consistently baffling behaviors of the courts makes it abundantly clear that counter to claims to the contrary, the courts and particularly the bottom 10%ers of the legal profession who end up on the family law bench have nearly zero interest in the best interests of COD or custody bound child(ren).

There is a naive court position that the mother is the default best choice for minor children just about entirely regardless to absolute proof to the contrary in many cases.  Not that the father is any better in any number of cases.  There is no mandate that the courts do an extensive assessment of what is actually best for the child from a postion of intellect and based on investigated facts.

Anyone can sling a bs attempt to manipulate at the wall of the court to see what sticks.  There is no clear standard for what the courts consider as being in the best interests of the kid(s).  Just some built in bias and tendency "to do what (the courts/Judge) always does".  That is a direct quote from the bottom 10%er dipshidiot of the legal profession that presided over the SpermClan's attempt to take custody of SS from my wife shortly before he turned 2yo.  Though she had held full physical and legal custody from his birth that was upheld in a CO when she sued to establish paternity just before SS turned 1yo.

Even if the SpermClan had been worthy and a superior option to my DW for custody of my SS, only a very rare Judge would make the call to correct an error perpetrated in an earlier ruling.  What was brutally clear is that no Judge with even a micro-brain would have accepted the attempt by the SpermClan to take custody of SS from my DW.

Many examples in STalker and broader failed family or non-papered breeding history highlight this very thing across countless variables in any number of situations repeatedly.  Even in light of clear proof that one parent is failing epically that parent can retain custody or visitation. Blessedly, most parents are decent and most kids, even CODs or OOWL kids have decency 

Kids are not infrequently forced to be held in COd bondage to an idiot parent who clearly has zero interest in the best interests of the kid(s), who is clearly incapable of providing for that kid independently, while not infrequently a clearly superior parent fights with everything at their disposal for the best interests of the kid(s) to no avail.

Not rarely, toothless drooling Harry Potter robed morons slinging a wooden Fisher-Price toddler's hammer refuse to move a kid to the quality side to be raised primarily by the parent that is clearly the higher quality option.  Even kids that do end up in the custody of the quality parent option are forced to wallow in the sludge spewed by a manipulative low-quality parent on a mandated schedule.  The odds of rectifying this with any number of court action attempts are only minutely better than slim to none.

IMHO, the solution is that Judges have to have personal liability exposure to the consequences of their idiot decisions when they make them.

All that being said and even with the odds being so slim, I would never give up on trying to do my best for a kid that is important to me or that I can help.