I asked about him last week.  His profile got deleted.  
 

Rags deactivated his account several weeks ago. 

Tryingjusttrying wrote:

Just curious. I was not on the board a lot this Spring because of how busy it was at work. But when I started posting again, I've been noticing that Rags is no longer around. He was so active before, so I was just wondering if he had explained his absence and I missed it? I tried to do a search and couldn't find any posts by him. Thanks for filling me in.

Rags deleted his account with no explanation to WarMachine13 or me. No idea if he contacted anyone else.

Tryingjusttrying wrote:

That's weird. I noticed that he was getting push back on here more than the previous forum. Sometimes he could be a little intense, but when I was very uncertain about what I felt entitled to, I appreciated him being so clear and unwavering about step parental rights. That soaked in slowly but surely and helped me to stand by myself more.

You're used to him. We have members who were never part of the old site. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Aniki-Moderator wrote:

Tryingjusttrying wrote:

That's weird. I noticed that he was getting push back on here more than the previous forum. Sometimes he could be a little intense, but when I was very uncertain about what I felt entitled to, I appreciated him being so clear and unwavering about step parental rights. That soaked in slowly but surely and helped me to stand by myself more.

You're used to him. We have members who were never part of the old site. 🤷🏼‍♀️

 
I was part of the old site.  And, he was unabashedly pro step parent and pro current relationship. But, I was not as big of a fan of him using terms like "failed family progeny"  to describe stepkids... because, in the end, we are all human beings.. even the stepkids.. (well.. mostly.. hahaha).  It was like he was automatically tarnishing any kids from a prior relationship.

He was also a very black and white viewpoint person.  I think a lot of his scorched earth advice wasn't really that practical for most people in steplife.  Honestly, all relationships require some compromise... or evaluation on whether they are worth it.. sometimes a little "bad" in a sea of good is tolerable.. other times it's the other way around.. we tend to magnify the worst on here (and the old site).. beause it is a venting site... but it ignores that many relationships are mostly ok and healthy.. with a few blind spots.. and sometimes we can get to a place of acceptance and disengagement.

I wish he hadn't vanished... but who knows what else might have gone on 

ESMOD wrote:

Aniki-Moderator wrote:

Tryingjusttrying wrote:

That's weird. I noticed that he was getting push back on here more than the previous forum. Sometimes he could be a little intense, but when I was very uncertain about what I felt entitled to, I appreciated him being so clear and unwavering about step parental rights. That soaked in slowly but surely and helped me to stand by myself more.

You're used to him. We have members who were never part of the old site. 🤷🏼‍♀️

 
I was part of the old site.  And, he was unabashedly pro step parent and pro current relationship. But, I was not as big of a fan of him using terms like "failed family progeny"  to describe stepkids... because, in the end, we are all human beings.. even the stepkids.. (well.. mostly.. hahaha).  It was like he was automatically tarnishing any kids from a prior relationship.

He was also a very black and white viewpoint person.  I think a lot of his scorched earth advice wasn't really that practical for most people in steplife.  Honestly, all relationships require some compromise... or evaluation on whether they are worth it.. sometimes a little "bad" in a sea of good is tolerable.. other times it's the other way around.. we tend to magnify the worst on here (and the old site).. beause it is a venting site... but it ignores that many relationships are mostly ok and healthy.. with a few blind spots.. and sometimes we can get to a place of acceptance and disengagement.

I wish he hadn't vanished... but who knows what else might have gone on 

Excellent points, ESMOD. He definitely had a unicorn situation that many of us do/did not and it seemed to me that it was difficult for him to comprehend doing things outside of his playbook. One thing I had to take into account was that BioHo had a major campaign going to PAS and step-PAS the skids. I gave them grace because they were young and 'poisoned'. Look how things worked out for us by just staying the course and being ourselves. 

Evil4 wrote:

I haven't been posting because of being so nervous about having to go through Reddit

This site doesn't go through Reddit.