If you want to know how to (attempt to) manipulate someone, listen to the master, SD64.

DH89's birthday was yesterday.  With his 2 forms of cancer and the oncoming dementia, our 5 kids and the 2 inlaws all seemed to make an extra effort in case it's the last.  I let SD64 come Monday when her daughter cleaned but she forgot his gift, no big deal, he doesn't care about gifts very much.  We were at his doctor yesterday then both napped so I didn't see her message til late.  "I tried to call Dad.  Please tell him to call me, I miss him so much".

So, this morning, I suggested he call her.  He kept putting it off til I said call her, I don't want her to think I'm keeping you from calling her.  So, he did.  I didn't hear it all but some phrases were "I don't have place to live".  "I don't know where I'll live", " I'm afraid", "I don't have any money" and more along that line.  I'm guessing it's hitting the fan living with her daughter and grandson in the small Section 8 apartment.  Also, whines about her car's issues.

I was holding my breath thinking DH89 might cave as he's done so many times.  Instead, I heard " You'll figure out something", "I've always found a place to live" and when she said she was afraid, he laughed and said "you, afraid?".  Either his dementia has entered a new phase or he had a moment of his native common sense.  At the end, he said, "I called about my birthday, not this".

On another note, yesterday, after he sees the oncologist, he goes to the infusion center for his shot.  As the nurse prepped him, she noticed it was his birthday.  After the shot, she said, wait a minute, I'll get you a cookie for your birthday.  Instead,, after 5 minutes, all the nurses came in and sang him Happy Birthday.  A good moment in a place with many sad and painful events. Thanks, you nurses.

Last edited by JRI (7/29/2026 2:41 pm)