Yes, no matter what else is going on, it's her money problems, relationship problems, car problems or health problems.  There's never been a job without coworker problems, never a residence without neighbor problems.

I wish I could divorce her.  Lol.  Maybe a citizen's divorce?  Lol.

Yes, the groveling to Daddy.  I totally understand it's SD's bid for $ and it works.  She's living with her daughter, C, in a Section 8 apartment.  C isn't as bad but hints and certainly accepts handouts.  C has begun working for Walmart doing deliveries, a huge step forward tho she needs a regular job.  I always ask about it, trying to be encouraging because she needs all the $ she can get.  No job, no child support, living in a section 8.  Yesterday, when I asked, she said it was going fine but she hadn't worked several days, too hot.  !!!  It's not even hot summertime here yet!  I just don't get it.

Unbelievable but true.  Our problems are the most important thing in the world, right?  From 50+ years of experience I've learned that nothing but cash "solves" her issues.  Over the years, I've listened to hundreds of problems, offered suggestions, accompanied her to doctors, made phone calls, etc.  Without exception, she has never followed a suggestion, done what any doctor told her to do unless it was to fill a prescription.  In fact, she seems to go out of her way to prove any suggestion is wrong. I hate to go on and on about her but she's just so awful.

My oldest sister is a classic narcissist. We do not speak. (Now I have to look up vulnerable narcissist, because she's always been "sick" and has always needed pity.) When our mother was in her 80's and literally just months away from death, this sister was calling her and grilling her about money, demanding to see proof of things, all the while whining (as usual) about her own conditions (other than her major conditions of greed, selfishness and narcissism) like she had been doing since her 20s. I finally called her and told her to "Stop unloading on an 85 year old!" What kind of person does that? (Well, we know, don't we?) Of course, she denied doing it. Such a selfish monster. 

O/T:  When, in my 20s, I lost my apartment (and 90% of my belongings) in a fire, this sister actually called me and said, "Well, my friend Jane said don't feel so bad--she just totaled her Jaguar." Note: This sister also made it a lifelong goal to only  befriend people with money, who would also donate to her "cause." 

Last edited by MorningMia (6/24/2026 6:18 am)

JRI, if you ever find out such a citizens divorce is possible for stepchildren, please let us know and sign me up.
I Have wish it were possible to divorce stepchildren over spouses in some way or another, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Did a quick search on vulnerable/convert narcissism on Google, and there is a lot of material out there, but it all points to the same thing..that it describes our Steps to a tee. Also repeat mention about how this convert variety is actually the most dangerous, because its more subtle and more passive aggressive, such as tactics like portraying themselves like the perpetual vitcim, always being wronged so they manipulate others into feeling sympathy into carrying all their burdens for them, Not to mention just being energy vampires due to their need for excessive external validation as they are that self absorbed,

I believe that wholeheartedly due to seeing those same behaviors played out in SD31, and its scares me too.
That's why I cringe hearing her ( cue the baby voice that I don't think any of these steps especially girls which is pathetic, never grows out of) gush that her Grammmy ( meaning my 86yo MIL) is her rock and support system

In my experience, we all know that's SD code for being able to unload on her ever constant streams of grievances on her elderly grandmother to bear the burden instead. I personally feel that is shameful at her age to still be that dependant on sponging off an grandparent or parent as you take too much liberty with their kindness

But that's what SD does: she can always be counted on to just insists upon herself in every situation so that it comes back to being about HER. Definitely one of those types who cant even let a crisis go to waste as they use it for their own gain.
When DHs uncle passed ( who didn't like SD, someone in this family had sense to see through her aside from me) and my FILs health was declining , she didn't waste time inserting herself uninvited. all she did was latch onto me blabbing nonstop just about her own problems in the end. Even in this kind of situation, she had to take that as an opportunity to make it about to be more about herself. and always expects some favors to be done for her. Even with A death in the family or an illness ,she had to use that as a window to subtley guilt others into meeting a need of hers instead, same old story
FIL hadn't even passed yet, and SD is already trying to worry about ( well maybe dictate is more like it) whether or not my MIL was going to stay in Florida or move back to NY ( to suite SD;s needs of course) 
SD had this "plan" for all of a minute to move there but only if MIL decided NOT to move into an "old folks"home which she didnt want her to ( not that it was ever SDs decision to make anyway but she cant grasp that) obviously so SD and her two brats can mooch of MIL rent free indefinitely, ( shes pulled that with me before  Don't tell me SD isn't a mooch and wonder why I always think she is playing some kind of angle.
That still burns me up since whether or not SD was going to move there was not my MILs problem, ESPECIALLY at a time when she had more than enough to juggle being a caretaker to her own DH dying of effing cancer, 

I don't know how I bit my tongue by asking SD what difference it would have made if MIL went to an assisted living home, as it didn't stop her from trying to move in with her great aunt ( also without permission) who was in a NH with her then infant daughter  in tow  Needless to say that didn't last long, I don't know of any Nursing homes or the like that let relatives live with the residents for free for however long they want. That shows me how low she can sink to using people, especially those in a vulnerable situation themselves. 

Also shows me that she intentionally targets those in such a position..believing their guard is down enough to not have the heart to say no to her...

Makes me feel sick. and scared of when MIL passes away, then is she going to come sniffing around here again with her hand out.  Hence why divorcing SD would be a dream come true for me and a solution. ..


 

Last edited by LittleTypeAmy (7/01/2026 9:02 am)

JRI, she is, and going to post an update. To clarify, my FIL has passed since ( this is going back a few years but still sticks in my mind ) and my in laws never had much money to leave anyhow, so my SD;s needs are necessarily in the financial sense, not like I'd put any of that past her, but just basically objects to my MIL doing anything that isn't all about her...that's the bottom line. 
So for background, my MIL decided to move back to NY from FLorida when my father in law passsed since it was understandably too painful for her then to be there, I get it.  Earlier tonight,she told me she decided she was ready to move back to FL ,since she was happier there than I thought. She wants to move in her old girlfriend from there  who wants to travel, something that my MIL desires to do again,  Im a little sad but I told her I support her choice if that means doing what is best for her for a change,

So, I dared to ask casually how SD was taking it, and of course shes not well , the Princess is NOT Happy ( well she never really is ) I was trying not to grin picturing  SD having the same tantrum she had with me  when not getting her way, Im sorry but I hope shes miserable because shes made me feel that way for years,SHes just disappointed because her Rock and Support system , her supply, is going away so SD actually has to get her sh!t together without Grammyyy holding her hand,..boo hoooo.. id say to SD, its finally time to sink or swim you little beeyotch, 
ANd to my surprise, my MIL told me that SD being that she is 31 years old is going to finally have to figure out life on her own now.  I think this is progress since for years I felt like SD had my in laws wrapped around her little finger always saving her. BUt this ends now, Im glad my MIL set that boundary..and also understands why I felt uncomfortable getting close to her since I dont trust my SD,, the ways she took advantage of me I basically cleared the air, being honest, which my MIL respected me for. With no judgement from my MIL, she understands where im coming from meanwhile I spent years avoiding this conversation, to spare my MILs feelings .She just told me not to worry about it anymore, since I never had to. I feel so much better now,  not just for finally having a honest conversation with my MIL but also applaud her for finally choosing herself and I wish her all the best,
I didnt mean to stir the pot, but for the sake of being honest, I also told her what my SD told me about how SD had only wanted to move to Florida  if MIL didnt move into this old folks home there..back when my FIL wanst even gone for a week then,,,,,i felt she had to know and now I feel better after getting this all out with my MIL that i hope she knows not to let SD take advantage of her, since my MIL has her own life now, its SD who cant get one 
 Another update not exactly relevant to this post, but SD was "engaged" to this guy for years, found out from MIL tonight that they arent together and I couldnt hide that I was not suprised, saw that coming given my SDs track record. for not being able to keep a man like shes not the problem, I kept this to myself but im sure she will move on her next victim soon enough..some other poor soul of a man who gets with her. I actually cant help but feel the ex fiance got smart enough to run now and dodged a bullet, Before  he had any legal ties to her..I envy his freedom from her
I also didnt tell MIL that  I felt this news so ironic, considering how SD went from telling me she couldnt stand the guy to gushing about him,,,,then to guilt tripping me about how inadequate i was to her as stepmom, how I let her down, since she loved her ex fiances kids as her own, which i always thought as bs since she cant handle her own kids.  Well.now her and finace broke up, so how is that working out for her now with these children that were never legally her skids and not going to be now, yet she is conceited enough to try to school me about being a stepmom..she is insane 

Last edited by LittleTypeAmy (7/01/2026 10:58 pm)

I am thrilled for my MIL even though I  am sad to see her move back but I know its all for the best, and she better stick to her guns and do it! ( as in dont let SD try to guilt her into changing her mind, another thing I would expect from her)
Although not stated outright, I really believe that my SD;s drama with her sh!tty life has a little something to do with my MILs decision, and I for one, am glad to see her escaping it and creating some distance from it.
How could it not be a reason? 

THe dots keep connecting as I keep flashing back to when just before my FIL passed, how SD was already trying to get a little too invested in  my MILs plans, aside from if she was going to the Nursing Home in Florida and was already gunning for MIL to move to NY. if she went "downhill" ( by the way, SD should know as much as I do , that my MIL is just about to turn 86 still with no signs of slowing down enough to go to a home, not even close yet!)   Her mental health did take a dive which happened at some point later when MIL was in her own vulnerable state having a rough time with her grief. Like I have said, with my SD I trust her so little that I really think she just takes advantage of those in that kind of emotional state to get what she wants out of them. That's why, I would not be surprised if SD was hoping to use the situation to jump on the opportunity to try to sell MIL on moving back here to  be closer to SD for HER benefit instead. 
Hence why she isnt taking my MILs move well at all as predicted. instead of being supportive. 
I can see her having a big old meltdown over her loss of control..as she takes everything so personally  seeing Grammys move as one more way someone is "abandoning" her, how  life its not fairrrrr..too cruel and "punishing" for her..etc. and now that her alleged finance flew the coop too, one more person who is leaving her. ..just  laying the victim card  and guilt tripping card on real thick like did for me, unless that was a hand she was only playing for me'
If I think SD is so BIG MAD now, wait tif she ever found out about my conversation with MIL backing me up completely in my choice to stay disengaged,actually encouraged me to leave things as they are if that's what best for me, it is what it is. I d bet SD would be hoping my MIL would NOT be supportive of me, would hope MIL ( same thing with my DH) would try to convince me to get close to her again and get back into the mix. If SD knew of our talk, she would just accuse of me of trying to pit my MIL against her and come between them just like with DH, which I never intended. That was the reason why I kept avoiding this conversation since I didn't want to come across that way to MIL and DH.  As far as SD is concerned, I never instructed my MIL to keep our talk from SD so she doesn't found out. I don't care if she does, I used to be so scared of pissing SD off, of her reactions and I'm sick of that too.
And it does feel so liberating to have gotten this discussion finally out of the way, Knowing that other family members see the light and in my case, MIL was amongst the last person Id ever suspect just like with your YSS. I  held off for so long out of concern for MIL and DH's feelings, also felt it was a losing battle on my end so I just didn't see the point of bringing my own feelings up, which weren't a total secret for a while anyhow.. But still glad to finally have it all out of the bag, no more pretending... before my MIL leaves so I feel like I finally got the closure I needed. 
 

Last edited by LittleTypeAmy (7/04/2026 9:28 am)