Greetings from the Wet and Cold Western State of Confused California.
:D
Same bad humor, hold on to your hats folks.

I took the great advice and reported the violations of the (multiple) restraining orders. This resulted in a postponement of the criminal trial that was supposed to happen Feb 9. The "new" information caused a new case to be opened and the prosecutors office werent sure if they are going to combine them. So NOW there is a new pre-trial hearing March 13. 

So, what prompted me to report the 2 out of the 7? I took an additional last-minute day off to hunt down the originating police officers, going to the PD multiple times until he finally was able to meet me at my home. Honestly it wasnt for my sake, it was deeper than that.

He had previously posted on his fake-book account about my dear friend that I have been spending time with. We go out, we hang out, we are seen out. He called him "fuzzy little f@cker" and threatened to "baby powder" aka slap him. He wrote "I hope he gets what she cant get rid of" aka I have STD/STIs. Its not even like that - its a deep friendship and he is a wonderful person that is often overlooked. He looks like a mini version of Jerry Garcia and yeah hes a bit fuzzy. So what. WE dont care what people think, and most people have been supportive of us hanging out.

STBX aka MR BeatRDown is a bully and hes not ever been stopped.  I have allowed bullies to talk about me and do smear campaigns against me, I was bullied horribly in my marriage to him. My (ex) step daughter was bullied by her older sister. ive been bullied at work. 
Ive kept quiet this whole time. I didnt want to "get him in trouble" hello he did this I did not.
I kept quiet for myself, but when it comes to others I somehow become activated to do something. 

I do not suffer bullies, I do not tolerate bullies.
Ive had enough, and no longer will stand by and watch. So I acted. I reported. Of course he made a statement on fakebook about "dont make me lose my freedom while you have yours..." Yeah right you should have listened the first time I told his friends its a violation. He continued...and sent people my way in violation.

Ive been working through all this, taking care of my health as a top priority. I have managed to keep the 20 lbs lost and 10 inches I lost, gone. Ive got a new wardrobe as I continue to build a new identity, and a new circle of friends, while leaning on my previous very small group for advice and sometimes the occasional ugly cry. The bed has been warm and me and the cat snuggle every night. Im alone but not at all lonely. Ive been meditating and "sitting with my feelings" as one person puts it. Which is mot making me feel better right now, but Im sure its helping with the heal.

Im still terrified about taking the stand, but its the right thing to do. I met with the prosecutor and the victim advocate and my emotional support dog. I know how its supposed to work, and they are all (three) very kind. I will be and continue to be growing and changing and a bit wonky and depressed, but its not holding me back. The divorce is moving forward. I have a legal team on my side, and a legion of wonderful people on my side who are looking out for me as I continue to gain knowledge, and independence.

I cant imagine staying now. I cant imagine how anything I experienced was at all acceptable. How I was treated by him, his ex (they are now BFFs), his children. How I was actually (I can say it now) abused emotionally, verbally, now physically, as well as financially.

I have broken a few "rules" along the way and done things backwards and tended to procrastinate a bit much. I did try dating a bit, in the way of seeking validation from external sources. Ive found out that Im not really a "hit it and quit it" hookup type. Ive been a wife for a really long time and there were aspects of that I really enjoyed and this newfound freedom can be overwhelming but really enjoyable (why tie myself down???? I LOVE my freedom!)
Id rather do me, than some other that sucks the life and drains.

Work has been very intense as the manager has been grooming the assistant mgr to take over thinking I didnt notice and now hes announce his retirement after 20 plus years. So, Im focused on ME and work too. Still places that I need to go and things I need to do, and its a never ending list, but Im getting there, or will get there eventually.

Im not on here much. If your up for friends IRL, DM me.

Not so Clove anymore, more like C-dont-mess-with-me-anymore