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Merry Christmas and I'm blocked
Merry Christmas everyone.
On Dec 23 we served BM the court papers for DH to legally withdraw from parenting SS16.
He expressed SS16's unilateral withdrawal from the family and the paternity test as reasoning.
DH had not reached to SS16. Neither have I. We haven't told the kids anything yet but they haven't asked about him this Christmas so I think it will be easier than we expected.
Yesterday DH texted SS16 Merry Christmas and said he loved him. SS16 texted him back Merry Christmas but dropped the love reciprocation.
Before all this we had mailed SS16 a few hundred dollars worth of gift certificates in the mail. Everyone else in our city received the mail we sent out.
Yesterday SS16 posted a tiktok video. I don't follow him but it showed up in my For You. It was him showing off all the things he got for Christmas, which was not a lot. A couple outfits from his mom and some snacks. Nothing we sent. Says it was his best Christmas ever. At the end of his video he thanks his parents. Weird.
This morning is my birthday and my mom said she made me a tiktok. So I go to check it out and I get a notification saying my message request from SS16 has been accepted. Which on his Bday I made him a slideshow on tiktok and tagged him in it.
Anyway I go to click on it and it changes from SS16's username to: user not found. And BM blocked me too. Weird because her account is private.
So somehow SS16 is having his best Christmas ever after finding out his beeyotch Mom lied to him all these years?
Cool. Awesome. It's not my issue anymore. Right?
Glad everyone is happy... Over there.
- MorningMia
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Re: Merry Christmas and I'm blocked
If the plan is for DH to legally withdraw from parenting (or if he already has legally, which seems to be the case), why is there still communication going on? Seems like mixed messaging to me. I'm confused.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
- BanksiaRose
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Re: Merry Christmas and I'm blocked
I’m also wondering if there’s a way for your DH to claim some/all money back he wasted on raising someone child through BM’s deception?
- 1dad6kids
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Re: Merry Christmas and I'm blocked
MorningMia wrote:
If the plan is for DH to legally withdraw from parenting (or if he already has legally, which seems to be the case), why is there still communication going on? Seems like mixed messaging to me. I'm confused.
Legally withdrawing doesn't mean he doesn't still love SS16. But SS16 left our family and presumably has a bio Dad who could/should step up now that DH is no longer responsible for SS16.
But how is SS16 gonna post that he had the best Christmas ever after learning his Dad isn't his Bio dad, and thank his parents?
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Thread Starter- 1dad6kids
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Re: Merry Christmas and I'm blocked
I’m also wondering if there’s a way for your DH to claim some/all money back he wasted on raising someone child through BM’s deception?
DH doesn't see it as wasted, because SS16 was in our lives all those years. But spending it now when SS16 wants nothing to do with us is certainly wasting it.
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Thread Starter- Thumper
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Re: Merry Christmas and I'm blocked
So who do you think may be the father?
Do you have a guess?
Was dh married to bm when the baby was born?
- 1dad6kids
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Re: Merry Christmas and I'm blocked
I have a sneaking suspicion it's BM's "best friend" who is male and carries the same unique facial feature as SS16.
DH and BM were never together, they just hooked up a few times
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Thread Starter- Yesterdays
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Re: Merry Christmas and I'm blocked
SS16 I'm guessing isn't feeling bright and rosy about being placed in this situation and I'm guessing it would be very hard to process all of this... Regardless of whatever gifts he may have received or Christmas wishes... It's still got to be quite a blow he received.. Despite him having withdrawn previously from the family. If your partner going to try to keep in touch with him, despite the results? Has any of that been communicated... As far as what his intentions are for keeping touch?
Last edited by Yesterdays (12/31/2025 3:38 pm)
- notarelative
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Re: Merry Christmas and I'm blocked
Could it be that SS16 does not know yet? Is it possible that BM has not told him yet?
- 1dad6kids
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Re: Merry Christmas and I'm blocked
SS16 I'm guessing isn't feeling bright and rosy about being placed in this situation and I'm guessing it would be very hard to process all of this... Regardless of whatever gifts he may have received or Christmas wishes... It's still got to be quite a blow he received.. Despite him having withdrawn previously from the family. If your partner going to try to keep in touch with him, despite the results? Has any of that been communicated... As far as what his intentions are for keeping touch?
SS16 has not been replying to DH. Seems like he may be blocked, DH's calls say SS16 can't receive calls automated message.
Otherwise I don't know. I'm letting DH deal with this as he chooses.
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Thread Starter- 1dad6kids
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Re: Merry Christmas and I'm blocked
Could it be that SS16 does not know yet? Is it possible that BM has not told him yet?
Yes, that is a possibility
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Thread Starter- Missk03
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Re: Merry Christmas and I'm blocked
I doubt SS knows. You will know when he finds out..
- ESMOD
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Re: Merry Christmas and I'm blocked
I am not surprised honestly. While he may have put on a "best Christmas Ever" post up... it was most likely to try to show you and your DH that "he doesn't care"... which is probably false bravado.. as much as he had gotten painted into a corner with his teenage petulance.. I'm fairly certain that this kind of news would have to be pretty foundation shaking for anyone.. and anger.. and blocking you both is not entirely abnormal given the tornado of emotions the kid is probably experiencing.
I know that the relationship with your DH had kind of broken down recently.. but if there had been a way to work through this with the bm so that the kid was more supported and your DH could have been able to deliver the news directly and personally vs a bomb in their mailbox so to speak.. right on the eve of christmas.. that would have been more ideal.. in a less than ideal situation I realize.
like a call to BM.. Hey.. we got results that SS is not mine.. I want us to sit down with him together to break that news... but if he plans on totally turning his back on the kid forever.. I guess it's no longer his concern.. but I can't imagine feeling that way over a child I had raised as my own.. even with the more recent estrangement..
- Rags
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Re: Merry Christmas and I'm blocked
I’m also wondering if there’s a way for your DH to claim some/all money back he wasted on raising someone child through BM’s deception?
DH can always sue BM for paternity fraud and CS fraud. Anyone can sue anyone else for anything. Whether or not a Judge will hear the case is the issue.
As I understand it as a legal layman, once CS is paid under a CO, even if there is paternity and CS fraud involved, the odds of bringing accountability down upon the adulterous fraudster is somewhere between slim and none at best.
Though if it were me, I would slap BM with these civil suits big time and quickas publically as possible. Just to make the point that she is the 
that she is. As the saying goes, the acorn/ or -let does not fall far from the tree/source, so to speak. BM being the source in this sad and tragic case. It is tragic that BM has doomed former SS to the future that is unfolding for him.
Last edited by Rags (1/05/2026 10:23 pm)
If you can't listen and learn, you will have to feel. WLR