JRI - Every time I start to trust her, I get a reality check.  The good news. Is I can unload the condo now.

You can polish  and though it may take on a shine, for a while anyway, it will always be what it is.

I'm sorry that she is proving yet again who and what she is.

I am glad to hear that DH is going in for a valve job. That is great news.

I hope that selling the condo will get you some financial benefit and some increased distance and separation from SD.  Please do not lock up any of your resources for her benefit going forward. It is long past time that she actually own her own daily existence.  It is stunning that she would gravitate to section 8 housing when she has an affordable home to live in that is not in the section 8 environment.

Last edited by Rags (12/13/2025 9:04 pm)

Oh goodness, hopefully the squatters aren't there when you go with the realtor for the walkthrough!

As a person who was on my own independently since I was around 22 years old I have little empathy for someone at age 64 who is doing the things they are. I juat can't even fathom being that reliant on another person. I can only imagine the amount of help she's received from others through the years and then to turn around and try to make a sneaky profit off someone elses kindness of helping. Just wow

Wow. I'm so sorry to hear this, JRI. Absolutely disgusting what your SD did. Hopefully, the "squatters" will leave willingly. Definitely sell it and I'd be VERY careful about trusting the woman anymore. At her age, there is really not much of a chance she's going to change. Her "changes" will only be to get one over on you and your DH. 

I wonder if she was renting it out for more than $400 a month.

I think that it is long past time to go scorched earth with this one.

Much of my career has been about outsourcing.  Though it is hearbreaking to have to invoke a reduction in force when the people impacted are good at what they do and at no fault in the situation. 

I do not fire anyone for cause. They fire themselves.  SD has invoked consequences on herself, and she should be the one to have to deal with her squat buddies when they are run off with their tails between their legs.

I suggest that you outsource to a hyper aggressive specialist firm to deal with SD's sublet squatter revenue stream.

• Specialist Eviction Firms: Companies like Clearway or National Eviction Team handle squatters, protesters, and travelers, managing the entire process from legal orders (like Writs of Possession) to enforcement.

Start engaging highly intrusive services like pest control that will gas out the property on a regular basis.  Engage highly intrusive property inspectors, loud land scaping services like tree trimming, lawn mowing, etc. I know it is a condo, so call the HOA and get them involved in all of this activity.

Hire a very loud duct and carpet cleaning service.

Light the fuses and have fun!!!   At some point, even kids/skids become a write off when they refuse to be decent.

Subletting to unknowns is common especially in tenant friendly areas.  I had a situation where the original tenants, Three roommates had a fight over wi-fi. The two more stable roommates moved out and the remaining roommate went nuts and invited criminals into the unit who were squatting and were threatening the crazy roommate.

Fortunately they left on their own and I was able to have the crazy remaining roommate confirm he was out.  I live in a completely tenant friendly area so squatters have rights.

They left a fairly big mess, the more stable roommate took forever to get her stuff out, and the damages exceeded the security deposit.  They don't have much money so I'm just going to 1099 code G them when I do my taxes for 2025.

Last edited by Thinkthrice (12/15/2025 8:28 pm)

When you wrote that your SKs stepped up and were a consolation to you and your dh while he was sick, it inspired in me a little hope that SS could be a positive force one day. At the same time, I often use the false hope that SS will be/is better than my image of him to question myself and my perceptions. I think it would be easier for me just to write him off, and feel justified and satisfied in maintaining my disengagement. The truth is none of us are all good nor all bad, so there are always going to be moments when the SKs show their better selves. But for my sanity, I think it's important for me to affirm my perceptions and judgments about general patterns of behavior of SS, and to protect my boundaries. Dh would love me to abandon my perceptions and impose his narrative of a virtuous SS. But I have to look at the overall picture and trust in my assessment even if no one else shares it.