Take it from me in that you are wise to decide not to hang around to take on another round of Step sh!t, the next generation.  I know i am a broken record, but this info is just fueling my anger more and more over SD30 having the gall to lecture ME about how what I was supposed to think of before marrying someone with a child> As if , as recent events demonstrate, that SHE should have thought of before she CHOSE to have her own children! Who the eff is she? Like she honestly signed up to have an out of control teen , just like I was supposed to gleefully sign up to deal with a stepchild like her , just as unruly and defiant.   I know its just her typical deflecting the blame tactic , anything to avoid looking in the mirror and facing the music now that one of her kids are unfortunately, yet predictably turning out to be just like her.  Its almost laughable, You just cant make this sh!t up. THEN lectures to me how she loves her "stepkids" like her own (Her BFs kids, and who knows if he is still around) Please, like I dont know she cant control her own offspring who do not respect her, so what makes me feel that its any different with someone elses' kids?  I am just trying not to stress that she doesnt darken my doorstep ordering DH and I to have custody of her brood. Something that I was in constant fear of happening some way or another someday from the minute I found out she was pregnant. 

Poster children for parent initiated implanted birth control for disturbed minor aged teens with a behavioral illness Dx.  Of course, once they hit the age of majority their breeding cannot be controlled.  

In my mind the question is, why support repeated generational bad choices?  I get that these are our kids and GKs. However, if not left to crash and burn as adults, they just seem to keep propagating the problem.

Teen breeding is a challenging enough issue when Dx'd issues are not in play. Throw in emotional/behavioral/psych issues and it is a sh!t storm of incredible proportions that will not end in the current and likely not the next generation.

I'm married to a former single teen mom.  Though in my son's case, he won the mom lottery.  Interestingly, there are no Dx'd syndromes of the moment in my IL clan, but they propagate generational failure nearly without fail.  Except for my bride. For whatever reason she is the one that has broken the cycle even with being a 16 & pregnant teen mom.   She broke the cycle for herself, and for her son.   BIL2 is re1 repeated the cycle, his kids are repeating the cycle (so far anyway), BIL2 is repeating the cycle (His kids are too young to tell yet), SIL is repeating the cycle (her kids are young enough to be TBD).

DW has cousins who are so damaged that they consciously bred to provide themselves a source of unconditional love.  That is mainly on her BioDad's side.  These cousins are products of such troubled relationships that a number of them have clearly stated they got pregnant as child moms so someone would love them.  They all have these herds of love breeding friends who celebrate and spout endless blather about how they are great moms, beautiful, etc... All are on SNAP or Section 8 housing, or, or, or, or, or... I am scared to death for their children.

I tease my bride that she is either a mutant or an alien implant.  She truly is exceptional and a clear outlier to her familial situation.

So many medical/emotional/behavioral/psych issues seem to be inherited.  How do we break the cycle?

Take me and my disease as a corelation.  T-1 diabetics were a relative rarity for the entire course of human history.  Though T-1 diabetes has been known since the time of the ancient Greeks, since it tended to show up in younger children who only survived for a few weeks or a few months at most once it manifested, the autoimmune genetics did not propagate broadly.  Basically, sweet kids/young adults (hence the term Juvenile onset diabetes) died before they were old enough to breed. So, the disease was self-limiting.

Then in 1921 Drs Banting and Best isolated the insulin hormone from harvested dog pancreas.  A year later it was first used to treat humans with Diabetes, and the explosion of T-1 diabetes started.  People who would have never procreated were procreating. This is part of the reason why I do not have BKs.  I would not propagate this disease to people I detest much less to my own children.  Though with modern medical technoligy a T-1 can live a long productive healthy life. IF, not the BIG if, they keep their head in the game.  Sadly, many do not. Even more sadly, many parents to these kids are a huge problem.  Shoveling sweets to their kids and juicing them up with "gallons" of insulin on the premise that they won't deny their children joy.  Idiots!  

It appears logical that with the demise of State hospitals and institutionalized separation of the syndromed population, a similar explosion of behavioral/emotional/mental illness has occurred to that of T-1 diabetes.   People propagate.  That is what we do.  Historically self-limiting conditions are no longer self-limited with advances in medical interventions, therapies, and social evolution.  

It seems to me that emotional/ behavioral/mental illness and my disease have some multigenerational propagation parallels.  My engineeric brain often wonders why supposedly rational adults support the seemingly never-ending repetitive cycle of disfunction?

I get that people are not machines. I get that humanity, emotion, free will, etc... are all in play.  

But how do we fix it?  Clearly doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result isn't working.  Loving them through it isn't working.

But as is often the case. I digress.

  

 

Last edited by Rags (11/25/2025 2:50 pm)

Tell me about it, dear Rumple and Rags. The cycle just never ends with some of these types, and my hat goes off to anyone who successfully breaks it, but I stopped holding out hope a long time ago that things would turn out any differently for SD31 as recent news suggests, sadly. 
RUmple, I also cant get over getting "advice" from SD who is the last person on earth who should be lecturing anyone about anything, especially Parenting in all forms since she cant get her own house in order apparently but  she can be counted on to be the first person to try to tell you how to run yours. You are correct, its those who crow the loudest are the same ones who don't have sh!t going for them.   She also goes on to try to lecture me on how I am :supposed to want more out of my life aside from her Dad" as if she knows anything about me and its not her place to dictate sh!t to me anyhow. LIke I don't suspect that in her mind, she means me enriching my life is supposed to be taking care of her problems especially her childcare woes, because that's what SHE wants my purpose to be. Oh yeah, as if taking on her out of control spawn is what I set out as my life's purpose and goals out of all the better things in the world I have my sights set to focus on...girl needs to get over herself x 10000. 
 

Rumplestiltskin wrote:

@Rags - Have you seen the movie “Idiocracy?”

Yes, I have seen the movie.  Another movie that tugs on some of the same strings is Don't Look Up.

I am reviewing this book now.  I have not read it entirely yet. But it is unfolding to be interesting.Idiocracy: The Culture of the New Idiot Zoran Terzić, Michael Turnbull (Translation)