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1 of 1- WanderLustre1066
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Hello friends
Hello friends. I am the former Bright Future, Futurobrillante and la_dulce_vida.
I've been keeping tabs on y'all by lurking, and wondering how CLove is doing. I was busy for a while but started checking in more regularly when I read what CLove was going through.
I've been missing StepTalk - being there got me through some rough days. I'm struggling these days, but at least it's not about stepping. LOL
I sold my airbnb house in April, and I'm now back in the townhouse my sons were living in. My youngest now has a complete 1 bedroom apartment in the basement and my eldest son has relinquished the master bedroom to me in exchange for a very small amount of rent. He's just completed his master's degree and is seeking his "big boy job." I hope he'll get that in the next few months, and then I'll have the top 2 floors of my townhouse to myself and I can have guests!
The house is a bit of a hot mess. When I sold the other house, the living room at my current house became a storage unit. It's now a living room, but I've undertaken the project of painting the first floor on my own. My procrastination is working against me. My daughter's father in law will be installing a new hot water heater for me on September 6th and I'll have my daughter, SIL, his mother and father for dinner, too. So, that should light a fire under my buttocks to get it done. I swear to all that's holy I will not MOVE AGAIN!! I'll likely call junk haulers before I move any of my crap again.
I am happy to be back in the townhouse I bought in 2018 to escape my 2nd husband - the man whose behavior caused me to seek out StepTalk.
It is truly my refuge. I had a HUGE shed built in March. I had the basement apartment finished in May. I treated myself to a brand new refrigerator as a housewarming gift. This fall, I'll have raised bed gardens built in the yard, and I'll build the greenhouse I got on sale at Costco.
I'm back on my bike, but sorely behind on mileage this year.
Work is good. My sons are doing really well. My daughter is deliriously happy in her marriage. Her husband now has a green card!! They plan to start trying to start a family next year, so I may be a grandma before you know it.
I remain single by choice. It's been 18 months now and I'm giving myself at least 2 years. I don't have the bandwidth for relationships right now. Some of my friendships are strained. There is an ever present low key malaise we're all experiencing. My peace is most often found in my home or 1:1 with a friend on a bike ride.
I'm journaling quite often - filling up books. I have 4 new ones ready to fill (there was a good sale at Barnes and Noble and I'm partial to DesignWorks Ink jumbo journals).
I look forward to reconnecting with many of you. ((Hugs))
Formerly: BrightFuture, futurobrilliante, and la_dulce_vida
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Re: Hello friends
You've been busy! Glad to know you're doing well. 
- Thinkthrice
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Re: Hello friends
I'm glad you're enjoying the single life! I know I would be too if I were single. This video sums it up perfectly:
- Rags
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What a great update! I'm very happy for you. Not to be condescending in any way, I am also sooooo proud of you.
My wife uses the SAVERS acronym as part of her self care activities.
SAVERS
Silence
Affirmations
Visualization
Exercise
Reading
Scribing.
My bride is part of a group at her firm called The Miracle Morning. The author, Hal Elrod, spoke at one of their annual Team Member Updates a few years ago. The firm started an associated group.
One of their things is SAVERS. She enjoys it.
There is also an app and a community associated with it.
Your journaling is a powerful thing. That you are investing in yourself, your home, and in living your best life is great. That your children are thriving is a wonderful testament to you as a parent and the character that they each have. Congratulations to all 4 of you and to SIL getting his green card. All amazing things in the life, times, and family of.... YOU!
When i divorced, I did not take a break. That entire marriage was a break from me being the person I liked being and living the life I enjoyed. Never again. So, I jumped right in as my XW and XFIL were pulling out of the driveway of our recently purchased home with all of her stuff in XFIL's truck and work trailer. I had a locksmith on the way to rekey the locks, and I had a date that night. I knew I was not interested in a relationship, but I also knew I wanted companionship and connection. So, I dated. Over the next 3+ years I dated regularly. I also sold my share of my company to my partners, moved to a different State, bought a home with my brother, finished my undergrad, and found my bride of 31+ years. Though I definitely was not looking. I dated quite a bit. Interestingly never anyone who was long term relationship material. Nice women, just not LTR likely. At the 3yr post divorce point I met and dated 4 amazing women over a few months. Any one of them would have been a wonderful life partner. With the 4th of them I was done. Put a fork in me. I have no clear understanding of what it was other than she was the one and we clicked at a level I had never before experienced. When you are ready, the one will run you over. Whether you are looking or not. I was not. But... wonderful things will happen when you least expect it. When you are being your best you, they will find you, you will find them.
It is great to see you and it is great to see you thrive.
If you can't listen, learn, & think, you will have to feel. - WLR
- Thinkthrice
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Hey Rags! It's great you two are harmonious, work as a team yet take time out for individual "me" time.
- Rags
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Thinkthrice wrote:
Hey Rags! It's great you two are harmonious, work as a team yet take time out for individual "me" time.
Thanks very much. Nothing planned. It is just kinda how we are. We synch on the basics and make the rest up together as we go along.
It works for us.
Last edited by Rags (9/03/2025 8:34 pm)
If you can't listen, learn, & think, you will have to feel. - WLR
- WanderLustre1066
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Thanks Rags!!
You being proud of me means a lot.
I am where I am supposed to be right now. I walked away from someone I loved deeply at a time when I needed to choose me. It hurt like hell, but if I had not done it, the following would not have happened:
1. My daughter would have never met her future husband. She met him because we were living at the airbnb house.
2. My son in law wouldn't have his green card
3. I wouldn't have sold the airbnb before the market went soft in the area - a suburb of DC. I did well having only owned the house 4 years, and my profits allowed me to help my eldest son get a newer car, and for my daughter to buy into her husband's home - she's now a homeowner. I also have a nice stash set aside in case my younger son loses his benefits
4. I wouldn't have solar panels on my house with a nice backup battery
5. I'm no longer isolated from my close friends and support network by a 2.5 hour drive
6. I'm in a better position to retire in about 3 years - if I want to.
I just journaled today that I am right where I'm supposed to be. I did the right thing for me at the right time. And I'm pretty proud of myself. <3
Formerly: BrightFuture, futurobrilliante, and la_dulce_vida
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Thread Starter- Rags
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Re: Hello friends
Thanks Rags!!
You being proud of me means a lot.
I am where I am supposed to be right now. I walked away from someone I loved deeply at a time when I needed to choose me. It hurt like hell, but if I had not done it, the following would not have happened:
...........
I just journaled today that I am right where I'm supposed to be. I did the right thing for me at the right time. And I'm pretty proud of myself. <3
All of this is awesome. No doubt the state of peace and grace that you are in are even greater results of your choices to focus on you and living your best life. Sadly, when the baggage is so overwhelming, love is not enough.
Keep taking care of you.
If you can't listen, learn, & think, you will have to feel. - WLR