That describes my exH. Complained about everything, did nothing about any of it.

Absolutely. What's particularly frustrating is when they willingly, purposely create chaos and upset in their lives and/or they keep doing the same thing over and over and continue to complain about it. You can offer an obvious solution and, oh no, that won't work because of xyz BS.
These are the people who post every single problem on social media--preferably with pictures ("Look at how bad we have it"). It really does seem to be an identity.
What is scary, I wonder, about having peace in your life, feeling happiness, or even just managing? 

LittleTypeAmy wrote:

Came across a quote in the form of a question that hit home:

"Have you ever tried to help someone and realized they Like their problems?"

For me, that sums up my thankless experience with SD30.

I can also say this applies to other people who have nothing to do with Step Hell.

I have noticed this more with some folks..who was poetic about how much they hate their lives,..oh woe is me..but yet at the same time, are so content with their plight that they sit back and not do a damn thing to get it together.

It's as though they feel that as long as they stay broken, stagnant and have their Problems as their main identity, then they get attention or can con people into rescuing them and doing the work for them..., so this is how they interpret  gaining love, acceptance and validation,  

What is mind boggling to me is how many of these types stand on this as some kind of point of superiority.   We have dealt with this with my IL clan for our entire 30+ year marriage.  They are all low wage laborers convinced that they know more than those they work for, and that those they work for are idiots.

Not only those they work for. Just about anyone with even a marginal level of success.   The noble farm laborer is to be recognized as a superior talent. Far above the owner of the farm, or any other business that they work for. My DW is the sole high-level performer in her family.  To her parents and sibs he is the black sheep who is the naive ditzy sister.  Though the last few years he was alive my FIL gained clarity that his eldest is truly exceptional.  The last few years my MIL has progressed toward that same epiphany.  Alone she earns more than her parents, all of her sibs, and their spouses and their kids combined.    I am just the lost cause tag along to my DW.   Since I am not an agriculture related worker, I am barely tolerated. I do not have the genetic connection that my DW has.  Which is the only thing that keeps her included in my IL clan.

It breaks both of our hearts that they all just keep doing the same things repeatedly suffering multiple foreclosures, bankruptcies, repossessions, and never-ending financial collapse.  None of it related to their choices or repeated lack of performance of course.  Even more heartbreaking is that the next generation is looking to follow in the footsteps of my MIL/FIL, BIL1 and his wife, BIL2 and his wife, and SIL and her STBXH.   

We were hopeful that our eldest niece, BIL1's eldest, was going to break the cycle. She was valedictorian of her HS class (one of 15 but that is another topic entirely) and had several university/college scholarships.  She ended up being ejected from an exclusive industrial welding technology program that she was highly recruited for.  Sadly, that was not entirely due to her choices. She was Dx'd with Crones disease and had too many absences to keep up with the program.  We are hopeful that now that she has recovered from surgeries and is physically stronger and stable that she can re-engage in that program.  Though she is so much like her parents that the odds of that are slim to none at best.

We are also hopeful that our nephew (SIL's eldest) will stay the course on his great opportunity. He won a full ride paid scholarship for a Diesel Technology program.  It is a company sponsored program that pays for all of his tuition, fees, etc, pays him $20/hr while he is in class, and pays him that same hourly rate to work at the business in the evenings and on weekends up to a total of 40hrs per week. If he stays the course and performs academically and for work he has a chance to compete an AS degree in two years and have two years of solid work experience.  His goal is to be an Ag Teacher in HS.  Having an AS in diesel technology and certs as a diesel/equipment mechanic will give him a shot at completing his Bachelor's degree with zero debt as he progresses towards his Ag Teacher/FFA director dreams.  He can make more in the summers and working part time during the school year as a diesel mechanic than he will make as a teacher.   We are knocking on wood that he breaks the cycle.

Stress is a killer.  For me it shows up in added weight and severe short term memory loss.  When I leave a high stress environment my memory begins to recover very quickly with notable improvement within about 3 days incrementally recovering after that.  

I am sorry you experienced all of that but I am happy that you are looking forward to the future again.

Enjoy your new life adventure.