Why doesn't she find another place to live? She is like that bad fart my husband talks about . . . the one that lingers. My God. 

Meera wrote:

MorningMia wrote:

Why doesn't she find another place to live? She is like that bad fart my husband talks about . . . the one that lingers. My God. 

She can't insert herself in our business from afar. I believe that is why she wants to move back here. She has no life of her own. Neither she nor SD's have significant romantic relationships. They are all stuck on DH. It's super weird. I really wish they would get their own man (or woman) whatever their orientation may be and leave us alone. 
 

"Insert herself in our business" -- My God, I know that one. I remember those days of wishing, wishing, wishing BM would find a man she could obsess over rather than obsessing over DH/us. She never found one.

She backed up/out after I clapped back hard one day but the obsession continued--it just wasn't in our emails or over the phone as it had been. The obsession seemed to end after she did something extremely drastic that could have put her life in danger. She did this to punish/threaten everyone--the skids and us, I believe (the skids had been acting out). The skids fell in line/in severe lockstep after that, but we ignored it. DH didn't tell her, as I think she wished, that he feared for her life and was concerned for the mother of his children. *sob*

In hindsight, I see that that seemed to be a mental turning point for her regarding us. While she continued demanding loyalty from her "team" and continued with nasty and passive aggressive behaviors, she basically exited our lives. She gave up. With bitterness and anger. But it's been wonderful. 

 

Thanks for the good wishes ESMOD. 

Your BM sounds like a mess. Gambling is so addictive for a lot of people and potentially financially devastating. Your SD is right to be concerned. 

My DH's EX also tried to mooch off the SD's. She makes them pay "rent" when they come to visit her. Their loyalty to her has got to be some type of stockholm syndrome. It is interesting and not surprising that neither diabla cares to spend much time at her house anymore. Too bad for me tho because now the SD's prefer to come stay in our comfortable home.

Last edited by Meera (11/01/2025 8:56 pm)

FloralSM wrote:

I just read a few replies about how these BMs are so obsessed with our lives and don’t move on. It’s sooo frustrating. HCBM is single AGAIN. And so is her brother. And her mother. Seriously, neither of them can keep a relationship. They are early 30’s now and BMs mother is nearly 50 and goes out partying.

All I’ve ever wanted was BM to settle down and get married. Get pregnant! Seriously just move on!! Instead of playing toxic manipulative games with her kids to get at us. It’s been nearly a decade of her being obsessed. We moved 7 hours away now and it’s still not far enough lol.

How strange that neither BM, her Mom nor her brother can keep relationships. It's a special kind of dysfunction in these types. 

My ex and DH's ex are "high conflict" to put it mildly. Neither one have any concept of "moving on" or boundaries. That's part of what brought DH and I together. I understood what he was going through and he understood what I was going through.

The flip side of that is that both of us have had to deal with stalking and intrusive behaviors from each other's ex and their attempts to use the children as pawns. (BM has been more successful at this than my ex.) It's been nearly 20 years and neither of our ex's have re-partnered. I don't think BM has even been on a date. 

Now SDiablas are following suit. OSD29 has had very brief, very stupid, relationships (that's another story) and YSD26 has never had a relationship as far as we know.