Kes wrote:

The hero, the scapegoat, the lost child and the mascot.  These are roles that children take up in dysfunctional families.  Mine was the lost child. For me the principle characteristic is a fear about taking up space in the world, and asserting one's right to have needs.   Here is an article on it:

https://cptsdfoundation.org/2020/11/11/lost-child-syndrome/

I bet these roles can change depending on the time/circumstances. I was definitely the scapegoat but I came out of it stronger. There were moments I was also the hero. Go figure. But the more I was scapegoated, the harder I "fought" back. 

SD was definitely the hero, even when she was f'ing up. She has always been stuck to her mother's side like some kind of deranged defender. She is a deeply damaged person who is weak-willed and people-pleasing while pretending to be a strong warrior. For all the confidence she exudes, it's "surprising" that she has a using, useless, much-too-traditional husband who dumps everything--childcare for 4 children, breadwinning, homemaking, etc.--on her. You go, warrior girl!  

SS, on the other hand, was a scapegoat until he came back into the HCBM fold. Then, once he realigned with mommy and sister, he grew into the mascot. A real barrel of monkeys he is. 

Both skids have serious identity issues just like their mother.