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1 of 1- Meera
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DH & The Diablas
BOTH step-diablas 27&29 are back in town but unlike last year with their many "drop-ins" (free lodging) they are staying elsewhere, other than our house. HURRAY!
Same as always, they continue to shun me but THIS time I don't have to have them shunning me in my own space. Setting reasonable and simple boundaries with them was enough to scare them away.
They are diablas that have never been told "no" before nor do they defer to seniority. I am SO glad I laid down the law. I am now reaping the reward of peace in my own home.
DH offered to spend a day with them either here, and order in pizza, or they could go out with him elsewhere. They opted for elsewhere. I didn't even have to see them. It was heaven. I got a few sewing projects done that I have been meaning to do for awhile now. It was a peaceful and quiet day.
I wonder what DH's day was like? Lol, he'll be back home shortly.
I'm loving midlife - Me+era
- Aniki-Moderator
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Re: DH & The Diablas
Nothing like keeping the toxicity out of your space!
- Kes
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Re: DH & The Diablas
Well done on good boundary setting! I haven't seen either of the Madams (SD 30 and SD28) for over 3 yrs. I cut off contact with SD30 in 2022, and SD28 now won't come here either. Their choice (or rather DH's) - I've offered that they can come and I'll stay with my friend, but he doesn't want that.
- Meera
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Re: DH & The Diablas
Thank-you! It was as easy as telling YSD "No. You can't tell me what to do in my own home" and telling OSD that she is not to touch my things.
Lucky you that you have been contact free for 3 years.
I have seriously considered offering to leave when they visit so that I don't have to deal with them but I'm pretty sure these 2 would be happy to jump-in and stay forever rent free as mini-wives. It's a delicate balance of keeping close but not too close.
I'm loving midlife - Me+era
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Thread Starter- Meera
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Re: DH & The Diablas
I asked DH how his day out was. He said it was mostly ok.
I am a curious person so a part of me wonders what the "not ok" part was like? I have learned to curb my curiosity in exchange for low-blood pressure and peace.
DH is more of a "It was a great day!" kind of guy so his answer tells me all that I need to know.
It's great to be separate from the drama.
I'm loving midlife - Me+era
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Thread Starter- Rags
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Re: DH & The Diablas
Meera wrote:
BOTH step-diablas 27&29 are back in town but unlike last year with their many "drop-ins" (free lodging) they are staying elsewhere, other than our house. HURRAY!
Same as always, they continue to shun me but THIS time I don't have to have them shunning me in my own space. Setting reasonable and simple boundaries with them was enough to scare them away.
They are diablas that have never been told "no" before nor do they defer to seniority. I am SO glad I laid down the law. I am now reaping the reward of peace in my own home.
DH offered to spend a day with them either here, and order in pizza, or they could go out with him elsewhere. They opted for elsewhere. I didn't even have to see them. It was heaven. I got a few sewing projects done that I have been meaning to do for awhile now. It was a peaceful and quiet day.
I wonder what DH's day was like? Lol, he'll be back home shortly.
Your found the secret sauce of discomfort that keeps them away from you and your home.
Well played!
If you can't listen and learn, you will have to feel. WLR
- Rags
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Re: DH & The Diablas
I asked DH how his day out was. He said it was mostly ok.
I am a curious person so a part of me wonders what the "not ok" part was like? I have learned to curb my curiosity in exchange for low-blood pressure and peace.
DH is more of a "It was a great day!" kind of guy so his answer tells me all that I need to know.
It's great to be separate from the drama.
I have meds for my blood pressure. I WANT THE TEA!!!
If you can't listen and learn, you will have to feel. WLR
- Rags
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Re: DH & The Diablas
Nothing like keeping the toxicity out of your space!
If you can't listen and learn, you will have to feel. WLR
- StandingStrong
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Re: DH & The Diablas
What a wonderful read!!! So happy for you!
DH’s kids were banned from our home in 2018 after I tolerated their toxic behaviors for 12 years.
We’ve had changes over the years and last year, two visited our home. It went remarkably well. Apparently, they’ve learned I am not messing around anymore. Six years banned. LOL
- Rags
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Re: DH & The Diablas
What a wonderful read!!! So happy for you!
DH’s kids were banned from our home in 2018 after I tolerated their toxic behaviors for 12 years.
We’ve had changes over the years and last year, two visited our home. It went remarkably well. Apparently, they’ve learned I am not messing around anymore. Six years banned. LOL
If you can't listen and learn, you will have to feel. WLR