I changed my username from Elea to Meera so hopefully that's not too confusing. The step-diablas are still

The Diablas.

I love this new forum even better than the last. No ads and simple to navigate. Thank-you Aniki! 

I had 8 blissful nearly adult-step-free months. The diablas26&28 are mad at me for laying down a boundary and so as "punishment," after Christmas last year,  they stopped coming to our home. They started ramping up the manipulation immediately by sending DH trinket gifts and inviting ONLY him to go travel with them or do stuff FOR them. Thankfully he more or less saw through the manipulations and turned down their "offers." 

YSD26 has been lingering in our area doing low-pay remote "work" and staying with friends or doing random house sitting jobs. She is underemployed because she can't get her "career job" and so she chooses to flit from one temp job to the next. Whatever, not my problem. 

As I predicted, since their long-distance manipulations have proven to be ineffective she is testing the waters to come back to our home where she can attempt to stir up drama in person. 

A few weeks ago, she asked DH to stay in our guest house for a few days in between house-sitting gigs. DH said yes. Funny thing is, after the "incidents" of me laying down a boundary, DH bemoaned how they "aren't coming back here anymore." (Sure they aren't. Lol) 

So YSD26 comes here and walks right past me without saying hello. She did not come into our main house at all. She did not say a single word to me for 3 days while staying in our home. She also got permission from DH to leave several grimy looking bags of stuff in our guest house for a few days, which of course turned into a few weeks. 

I'm fine with her doing her own thing and staying to herself while she is here if that is what she wants to do, but we established with the diablas that they are to have common courtesy and say  "hello" upon arrival and "goodbye" upon departure rather than excluding and shunning me & my bk's. I wouldn't go and stay at her home, (if she had one) use her stuff, store my crap and not even bother to say hello to her and her other household members. 

It turned into a *thing* with DH where I had to explain that we have established a basic rule about being civil and he needs to uphold it and not let them backslide into shunning me in our own home. It doesn't make me feel safe to have grown women, walking around our home, permitted to shun me in my own space. It took him a min. but he got it. It's an energy drain to have to go over the same rules that we had already established not only with SD's but also with DH! Sometimes it's enough to make me feel like throwing in the towel. 

DH said he would talk to them and remind them that they must have basic manners and greet me when they come to stay in our home. I told him that I'm willing give them a couple more chances but if they continue to be rude to me then they can stay elsewhere besides our house. I have little faith that they will be polite and civil to me considering that they can't even say hello to me. 

I have to admit that besides the rudeness, it was pretty nice to have NO interaction with her while she was in our house. 

Well, yesterday YSD finally came back here to pick up her grimy stuff. She gave me a half-arse greeting (good enough) and came into the house to hang out awhile. She, DH and I had a surface, polite conversation, again good enough. I had things to do so I left for most of the day. When I returned she was still here, sitting on our couch, watching TV with Dh. I chatted with them both a bit and then left to go get ready for bed, make some tea and I went outside to watch the sunset.

As OSDiabla once loudly pronounced, "I don't enjoy THEIR company." I tried to build a connection with them when they were younger but they have made it clear that they had no interest in reciprocating. I have since come to understand that they just aren't my kind of people. I am thankful to have no relationship with them. They are doing me a favor.

So much of the stuff that comes out of their mouth is like listening to nails on a chalk board. They are know-it-alls, demanding, they try to control and dominate the conversation and they have this annoying habit of answering questions that are not directed towards them and of course they love to bring up their poor, helpless, always the victim BM. So now I remove myself from the situation, as much as possible, and allow DH to receive the full blunt force of their irritating company.

YSD finally left around 8:30 PM and we went to bed. 

I do see improvement in that YSD has been in our area for a couple of months and unlike the past, she has not attempted to dominate DH's time or constantly interject herself into our day. (In the past she was in our space, constantly making demands, including that I cook special meals for her.) BM taught them to be this way. She would stir up drama any time that she thought DH and I might have some time to ourselves. She loved to shove the diablas on us as punishment with a "your on!" Every weekend, every holiday was dominated by BM needing her "me time" and sending the diablas to us all the while telling the diablas what terrible people we are and that they don't have to listen or respect us. 

DH says YSD has friends in the area that have their own apartments. He says that when SD house-sits she invites all of her friends over to hang out with her in the house she is house-sitting. They all come over and crash with SD. Alarm bells went off for me but DH thinks this is just wonderful. I don't really care though as long as it keeps YSD busy and out of my hair, at least for the most part. 

I haven't gone into the guest house yet to see if SD really took all of her stuff. I hope she did.