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1 of 1- MorningMia
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Old outrageous BM behavior
I've been backing up my computer as well as Cloud files onto an external hard drive. I come across a 15+ year old folder with a strange name. I open it and see it is where I had stored documentation of BM's harassment. I did not do a deep dive, but the little plunge I took had me actually laughing at how insane her behavior was.
She was incessantly emailing us (I was copying and pasting w/dates, taking screenshots, etc.) on nearly a daily basis. One email to us only had a link to a song in it. I remembered that one. When I played the song for DH back then, his face went pale. It was the song, he said, they had playing when SD was born! <I just snorted as I typed that>
All of this reminded me how BM would ramp up the real special crazy at "special times" like her own birthday, apparently hoping/praying that DH would wish her a happy one (?). She'd pull out the big guns (angry guns) as the holidays approached. Awful cries for attention, like a child throwing a tantrum. It was awful, really.
BM had begun to email both of us when DH told her that all communication needed to come to us (lucky me) on the advice of our marriage counselor, who felt like BM needed to face it that we were a married couple (something she had been pretending wasn't true) as well as to hopefully get her to pull back on her wacky and manipulative behavior toward DH. The counselor thought that if BM had me as an audience, she wouldn't behave as badly. No such luck with crazy. The new "rule" just angered her.
When she became more aggressive, I finally threatened to release all of my "records" to her employer since she was sending a lot of her emails from work. That was the only thing that shut her up.
That is why I am the devil in the skids' eyes <shrug>
I will not be transferring that folder to the external hard drive. It can stay buried where it is.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
- JRI
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Re: Old outrageous BM behavior
The nerve of you to confront BM with the truth! What's she doing nowadays?
- MorningMia
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Re: Old outrageous BM behavior
JRI wrote:
The nerve of you to confront BM with the truth! What's she doing nowadays?
She was quiet but angry for about 10 years after that, heavily using the skids as her warriors. She attempted to open the door in a faux friendly way around the time the first grandchild was born--but she just couldn't hide her anger and longstanding bitterness toward us, and hurtful games were played.
She's been very quiet. I sensed that she finally gave up on whatever dreams she had to destroy our marriage, enter our marriage, or rule over us (I'm not sure which thing she wanted to do -- maybe all of it). She sticks to SD, as always, like velcro. She has never remarried and I've been under the impression she doesn't have much of a life outside of SD. I think SS has greatly disappointed her because he fought the severe pressure to cling to her for life, and he moved several hundred miles away. He is still very devoted to her, though. It's all about devotion.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
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Thread Starter- JRI
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Re: Old outrageous BM behavior
I hate to show pity for your BM but it sounds like a sad life. Our BM wasn't so fixated on ruining our life, she was busy with her new DH, Clueless, they had a very volatile relationship. I don't think she was all that sorry to lose my DH, mostly she wanted to keep cash flowing. She liked cash flowing in and free babysitting. But, she would have preferred seeing our marriage go bad. In her later years, she and Clueless seemed happy enough tho he wouldn't let any of the kids move in with them.
- Kes
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Re: Old outrageous BM behavior
Mia, it sounds like this find amused more than upset you, which is good. My DH's exW persecuted us for 10 10-15 yrs after I moved in with him, but these days we don't hear from her. She always took a very sanctimonious tone, standing on the high moral ground and spitting down on us. Like JRI's BM, she has a very volatile relationship with her husband, they have been married and divorced twice. She is a pathetic creature really.
Last edited by Kes (10/05/2026 12:17 am)
- MorningMia
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Re: Old outrageous BM behavior
I hate to show pity for your BM but it sounds like a sad life. Our BM wasn't so fixated on ruining our life, she was busy with her new DH, Clueless, they had a very volatile relationship. I don't think she was all that sorry to lose my DH, mostly she wanted to keep cash flowing. She liked cash flowing in and free babysitting. But, she would have preferred seeing our marriage go bad. In her later years, she and Clueless seemed happy enough tho he wouldn't let any of the kids move in with them.
It IS a sad life, a sad life she created. And "fixated" is the word. She gets fixated on everything (it wasn't just us).
And, like you say, DH here said she just viewed him as "insurance" and financial security. But it seemed to me like there was something deeper--about control and obsession.
Isn't it a horrible thing to actively want someone else's marriage to go bad. . . and to act on that desire. I'll never get that.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
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Thread Starter- MorningMia
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Re: Old outrageous BM behavior
Mia, it sounds like this find amused more than upset you, which is good. My DH's exW persecuted us for 10 10-15 yrs after I moved in with him, but these days we don't hear from her. She always took a very sanctimonious tone, standing on the high moral ground and spitting down on us. Like JRI's BM, she has a very volatile relationship with her husband, they have been married and divorced twice. She is a pathetic creature really.
Thankfully, all of this was so long ago that from this distance it did look funny. Funnier yet is that she was stopped in her tracks (although there was a penalty to pay for that one). PATHETIC is the word, yes.
10 - 15 years is a long time. WHERE do these types get that kind of energy? I cannot fathom the hatred or anger or bitterness that that requires.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
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Thread Starter- advice.only2
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Re: Old outrageous BM behavior
We used to have a file like this, some in physical form and some on the computer. I think DH finally threw it all out, but who knows. The only thing I kept was a photo of Meth Mouth after she got f@cked up in a car accident when she was driving high and drunk. It's my one conolation for all the years of torment from her, her mother and Spawn.