DH, DDs (4 and 10 months), and I left yesterday for a two week vacation. What comes through literally as we land at our destination? An email from BM wanting to discuss Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. I swear, BM can sense when we are having fun and ruin it. Essentially, SS has 3 sport competitions over Thanksgiving break and one the day before New Years Eve in December and she is seeking flexibility so SS isn't penalized for missing. The coach is hardcore and if you miss a competition, he makes you sit out that many additional competitions to "make up" for it.

I am ticked. Not because I give two sh!ts about seeing SS ever again, but because I am sick of BM demanding flexibility to accommodate endless sports, which always inconveniences our family during the summer and holidays. I had half a brain to tell DH to respond that we are done fighting for SS and he is released from his visitation obligations. I also had half a brain to tell DH to respond "No" and that these are the real life consequences of BM moving 4 hours away. But let's be honest, SS' relationship with us is superficial at best and it's easier when he's not around.

DH reviewed the calendar and gave BM 3 options that I can live with: (1) They meet halfway the day before Thanksgiving, following the competition and DH maintains 4 days (instead of one week), getting makeup time elsewhere in the year but SS will still miss 2 out of 4 competitions, (2) DH has SS for 5 days (instead of one week), getting makeup time elsewhere in the year, but SS will still miss 2 out of 4 competitions, or (3) SS doesn't come for Thanksgiving break at all, allowing SS to attend 3 out of 4 competitions and BM owes DH 7 days of makeup time (I prefer this option). For all 3 options, DH will not budge on the Christmas break visitation so SS will miss that competition regardless.

I am just so over it. I am so over the fact that our holiday and summer plans always revolve around SS' sport commitments. I am sick of DH receiving emails for every single visitation, requesting flexibility and changes, especially when none of this actually matters to BM. According to SS, BM and GF are still looking to relocate 3 hours away, so if they move, all of this was for what? If they're looking to relocate, do his sport commitments even matter? So easy to give up sports because they don't matter on BM's time, yet are critical on DH's time. I am also sick of step life and the fact that I have to deal with nonsense like this when we just started a long-deserved vacation, where I wouldn't if I wasn't with DH or if DH didn't have a baby with BM.

And the worst part is, now I'm anxious and perseverating on this because I'm thinking "Great, how bad will this screw up/inconvenience mine and my family's life?" But knowing BM, it will take her days to respond and I will spend the next several days worrying about that response, waiting for sh!t to hit the fan.

Oh and BM emailed DH last week to inform him that she joined a branch of the military as reserves and will be leaving for a month for basic training from mid-October to mid-November. BM will be unreachable and GF will have SS while she is gone. Don't know how that's going to work with them having a 5 month old baby and SS being a wreck with his behavioral issues. GF can have fun with that, but again, typical of BM to do what BM wants, to hell with the consequences of her choices. And SS will be missing 3 days of school and sports to travel to see BM graduate from basic training (so again, I guess none of this is truly important).

Please talk me off the ledge so I can actually enjoy my vacation and not perseverate on this chaos, because I know my anxiety will not let me relax until this is resolved.