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1 of 1- JRI
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SD64: I hope I don't regret this
SD64 texted me last week asking to come and spend time with DH89. The one thing she says that I believe is "I love Dad". So, she's coming tomorrow. She said "so that you can go shopping", ie, so that I'm gone. That's fine with me, I don't want to spend time with her. Supposedly, she's taking him to lunch. DH's response was, "Are you coming?" I said no, she wants time with you. He keeps urging me to go but I'm not. So, stay tuned, I hope I haven't made a mistake. I'll let you know how it goes.
- Merry
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Re: SD64: I hope I don't regret this
What’s the worst that could happen? She’ll pump him for money, but he’s been pretty good about not forking it over lately as I recall. Can you limit the cash he has with him? Remind him about the limit of his “allowance?”
I wouldn’t go either. No way. He wants you to go because HE doesn’t want to go.
- JRI
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Re: SD64: I hope I don't regret this
No, I don't think he wants to go. Or, if he goes, he wants me there as a buffer. I can't control what he gives her, he gets an "allowance" and can do what he wants. The worst she can do is poison his mind against me as she's done in the past. I'm unfeeling, don't love her, uncaring, unsympathetic. Those things are true now but weren't always. I'm just done with her and have given up on trying to help her.
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Thread Starter- Kes
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Re: SD64: I hope I don't regret this
She probably either wants a cash hand-out or to know about his will.
- Tryingjusttrying
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Re: SD64: I hope I don't regret this
I also believe that SS "loves" DH. I put love in quotes because sometimes I don't know what that means for SS. In the past, it manifested as clingy and possessive, and sometimes used against me. Sadly, I can't even feel joyous in that without an element of anxiety.
- JRI
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Re: SD64: I hope I don't regret this
Well, it went okay with SD64 today. But, I've so often been hopeful and receptive to her then later disappointed and disillusioned by her lies and deception. She stayed with him a couple hours while I went to Target and the bank. She listened and commiserated when I shared some of the challenges. She wants to come weekly or biweekly, says her counselor recommends she make some type of agreement with me about seeing him more regularly. She teared up, says she's in depression about DH's demise. I stiffened when she started on that, I don't need her emotional stress on top of everything else. History and my common sense tell me "Beware" but it's tempting to think she could help with him.
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