Welcome!!!
Daylight Savings Time - Spring Forward 1 hour on Sunday, March 8.
1 of 1
- MorningMia
- Member
Offline 
Dogs/Pets and Dysfunctional BMs & Skids
I know this topic has come up before.
BM has a long history of purchasing dogs and, once the dog(s) pees or poops in her house, getting rid of them. When DH and I first got married, she tried to pawn off an unhousebroken purchase on us, actually saying to me, "I have carpets. You all have tile floors." My jaw dropped. So, it's ok for you to "give" us a dog so that it can s*** all over OUR house? No thanks. Sadly, that dog also ended up in a shelter and was soon replaced by another one that didn't last long with her.
SD once brought her little dog to our house. The dog was a little ahole that at a later date ended up getting severely injured by attacking a big dog in public. Irresponsible. SD and SS (Poopsie) were vocally disappointed with the dog that it was not going after/bossing around our big dog. I was appalled and said, "It's best that she doesn't, believe me. That would be VERY stupid." Morons.
Poopsie eventually got a big dog. He'd bring the dog when he came to stay with us but initially failed to tell us that, one, the dog knew how to open (exterior) doors and would let our dog out and, two, that his dog was a dumpster diver and would get into every trashcan he could, trashing our house. Luckily, we did not experience disaster. Poopsie, like his mother, decided to discard his dog. It was very sad, as this dog was incredibly attached to him. Poopsie, of course, asked us to take him. Hell no. We are not your problem child dumping ground. Sorry.
I think our decision not to take their dogs fed resentment. . . because we somehow "owed" them?
I've mentioned in here before that Poopsie in particular, after giving his dog to someone else, seemed really annoyed with and intolerant of our dog, who is very well-behaved. DH and I needed to correct Poopsie, reminding him that this is our dog's home, too. Poopsie made a BIG mistake of swatting at our dog once in front of me. I put a quick and serious stop to that. During DH's health issue, one of my stressors was our dog's stress, which was exacerbated by Poopsie's presence in our home. It was a very very difficult time. DH said, "I think Poopsie is jealous of [our dog]." It was in big part DH's love for and protectiveness of our dog that propelled him to not wanting Poopsie in our house again.
Our dog is old now and is having some serious health issues, and we are trying not to feel devastated. . . we are holding on to some hope and working to keep our old guy comfortable. Honestly, I've thought, "Oh, S . . . when he's gone, I hope DH doesn't think that it's ok for Poopsie to visit us again." But it burned my butt this morning when Poopsie called DH and DH gave him a "report" of our dog's health issues (I wish he hadn't!). . . and I could tell there was zero response--no concern, nothing, not even for his father--because of jealousy and lingering anger likely over our choice not to "adopt" his dog, among other things like simple hatred and being an all-round crap person.
I know I shouldn't let this get to me like this, but I have. Poopsie seems so soulless at times that he can't even say, "Sorry, Dad," about his father's dog, which he is so ridiculously & childishly jealous of. I just need to let it out, so thank you. I'm going for a long, long walk now.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
- Merry
- Member
Offline
Re: Dogs/Pets and Dysfunctional BMs & Skids
My skids treat their animals well. I’ll give them credit for that. They’ve tolerated mine. Of course they’ve not met either of the current pack.
Not one word when we’ve lost any of our dogs, and each loss has been heart wrenching. Not even to DH. It’s one more thing that I’ll never understand.
It really does seem that it’s all a competition for DH’s attention. Anything or anyone that takes the spotlight off of them is dismissed or disdained.
- Kes
- Member
Offline
Re: Dogs/Pets and Dysfunctional BMs & Skids
I'm so sorry your old boy is having health issues. I can completely identify with SKIDs being jealous of our (well behaved) dogs, I believe the Madams were jealous of our dog Smudge. NPD BM has recently bought herself an Irish wolfhound puppy, that I'm sure is untrained and probably never walked. If I had my way she would never be allowed to keep an animal as she doesn't care for them properly at all.
- Rags
- Member
Offline
Re: Dogs/Pets and Dysfunctional BMs & Skids
Hmmmm? It appears that there is a strong correlation between those who have no business having pets and those who have no business breeding.
At least those types do not dump their spawn at the SPCA, though in many cases, the SPCA would do a better job of caring for and raising their kids than the failed parent does. These types probably keep the kids for the CS. Since pets are not a revenue stream, these types do what they do and the pet suffers.
The blended family opposition involvement had an inverse relationship with CS. They remained intermittently though manipulatively involved while they were on the hook for CS until SS aged out from under the CO. Once he had his 18th B-day and CS ended and their attempts to extort money out of him to repay 17yrs of CS failed, they evaporated from his life.
For a while they would whine and cry that he would not visit them while on leave from the military. His mom and I have always paid for his travel to visit us, when we can sneak it past him anyway. Eventually he pulled the plug on that and he pays for his airfare. Unless it is an international or extensive travel visit. We buy the round-trip tickets from our city to the destination, cover all of the food, activities, hotel, and rental car costs. He covers his round trip from his duty station to our city and back. He also pays for his purchases on a trip.
He just knows at this point that demanding to cover all of his own costs is not going to succeed so he just shrugs it off and we all enjoy our time together. 
If you can't listen, learn, & think, you will have to feel. - WLR
- Meera
- Member
Offline
Re: Dogs/Pets and Dysfunctional BMs & Skids
It is eerie how similar all of our experiences are.
BM tried to give us SD's dog that SHE got for SD's. It had anxious energy, probably from BM's weird nervous energy making it crazy, it was untrained and loved to scratch the crap out of doors. We said no thanks. After that dog died she got another dog. Fortunately I haven't been around it but my guess is if it was a good dog it won't take long for her to make it a bad dog.
It's funny that you all mention how SK's are jealous of your dogs. Both SD's showed signs of jealousy but OSD was especially jealous of our big dog. For the longest time she wouldn't pet it or pay it any attention. I guess she finally figured out that no one cares and that I actually prefer her leaving my dog alone. She finally started to pay it a little attention. Sadly our big dog passed away suddenly of cancer. I haven't really been able to talk about it because I miss my dog so much. RIP
Mia, I am sorry your dog is ailing. Sending courage and comfort your way. They become family.
Last edited by Meera (2/14/2026 11:33 pm)
I'm loving midlife - Me+era
- MorningMia
- Member
Offline
Re: Dogs/Pets and Dysfunctional BMs & Skids
Merry wrote:
My skids treat their animals well. I’ll give them credit for that. They’ve tolerated mine. Of course they’ve not met either of the current pack.
Not one word when we’ve lost any of our dogs, and each loss has been heart wrenching. Not even to DH. It’s one more thing that I’ll never understand.
It really does seem that it’s all a competition for DH’s attention. Anything or anyone that takes the spotlight off of them is dismissed or disdained.
That is disgusting and pathetic that your skids didn't say anything when you've lost your beloved pets, as the loss is devastating. Your last two lines are so incredibly true.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
- •
Thread Starter- MorningMia
- Member
Offline
Re: Dogs/Pets and Dysfunctional BMs & Skids
I'm so sorry your old boy is having health issues. I can completely identify with SKIDs being jealous of our (well behaved) dogs, I believe the Madams were jealous of our dog Smudge. NPD BM has recently bought herself an Irish wolfhound puppy, that I'm sure is untrained and probably never walked. If I had my way she would never be allowed to keep an animal as she doesn't care for them properly at all.
I'm not sure why these types keep getting dogs. Is it for show? For their image? One (or another) common theme with them is they don't work with their dogs--they don't train them and then expect perfect behavior OR ELSE.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
- •
Thread Starter- MorningMia
- Member
Offline
Re: Dogs/Pets and Dysfunctional BMs & Skids
Hmmmm? It appears that there is a strong correlation between those who have no business having pets and those who have no business breeding.
At least those types do not dump their spawn at the SPCA, though in many cases, the SPCA would do a better job of caring for and raising their kids than the failed parent does. These types probably keep the kids for the CS. Since pets are not a revenue stream, these types do what they do and the pet suffers.
Yes, there IS a correlation. When she was a toddler, my poor little niece was begging for a pet and my (horrible) sister bought her a fish bowl and put a plastic fish in it. 
But that would be a great idea for these BMs who insist on rolling through pets like cash. And you are so right: the dogs are not revenue streams so . . . to the gallows they go.
I did almost spit out my coffee over your idea that the skids would have had a better upbringing at the SPCA, though.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
- •
Thread Starter- MorningMia
- Member
Offline
Re: Dogs/Pets and Dysfunctional BMs & Skids
It is eerie how similar all of our experiences are.
BM tried to give us SD's dog that SHE got for SD's. It had anxious energy, probably from BM's weird nervous energy making it crazy, it was untrained and loved to scratch the crap out of doors. We said no thanks. After that dog died she got another dog. Fortunately I haven't been around it but my guess is if it was a good dog it won't take long for her to make it a bad dog.
It's funny that you all mention how SK's are jealous of your dogs. Both SD's showed signs of jealousy but OSD was especially jealous of our big dog. For the longest time she wouldn't pet it or pay it any attention. I guess she finally figured out that no one cares and that I actually prefer her leaving my dog alone. She finally started to pay it a little attention. Sadly our big dog passed away suddenly of cancer. I haven't really been able to talk about it because I miss my dog so much. RIP
Mia, I am sorry your dog is ailing. Sending courage and comfort your way. They become family.
Eerie indeed! We've rescued about six dogs through the years and always worked with them to help them be "good dogs." I didn't feel ok about being an expected dumping ground for BM and the skids, especially when we had always worked so hard to rehab and train our dogs. The boy we have now got kicked out of obedience class when we first adopted him (we still laugh about that), so we worked with him at home and he is probably the most well-behaved of all the dogs we've had. We had a female who lived to the age of 13 (she died 2 years ago). She didn't give a crap about the skids. She was a fantastic judge of character and super confident, and never tried to befriend them, so all was good. Our boy, though, likes to be right there with everyone at all times and is very sensitive, so it was painful to watch his stress around SS and it was so draining to be "on guard" and constantly correcting SS. Through all the BM and skid issues, that experience was the one that broke it for me with SS. I began to see him as somewhat of a sociopath--or at the least a very very disturbed person. When DH got home from the hospital, I had our dog on a leash, as I knew he'd be so excited to see his dad again. When DH walked in the house with SS, all was good, but SS said (this just gives you an example of what we were dealing with), "If he jumped on Dad, I was gonna kill that MF." WHO SAYS SOMETHING LIKE THAT? Answer: Someone who will never see the inside of this house again, dog-inhabited or not.
I know and feel your loss. It is so difficult. Thank you for your kind words.
Last edited by MorningMia (2/15/2026 8:47 am)
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
- •
Thread Starter
1 of 1