I've had this happen @MorningMia with my version of Poopsie. Totally rendered helpless, abandoned needing DH to step in - well for his wallet to step in. These are big boys too- with big boy jobs, large in physical size adult males who seem to make ALL adult decisions but when it comes to prying open their wallets they wait to see if good ole' dad will open his. Case in point - paid for all food, accommodations, flights you name it and adult SKID contributed nothing all weekend. He made one weak attempt at the last dinner to claim he would purchase beverages for 3 people and...when push came to shove he never did it and quietly let good old stepmom put her credit card down. Can you imagine a grown adult male exclaiming "I'll take care of the drinks!" and then never doing it and watching as the stepmom has to open her purse. I could have said something but I wanted it to be known how pathetic this was- just watched the SKID the entire time and thought "Huh, this is the last of it dude, enjoy." 

MorningMia wrote:

ImperfectlyPerfect wrote:

I've had this happen @MorningMia with my version of Poopsie. Totally rendered helpless, abandoned needing DH to step in - well for his wallet to step in. These are big boys too- with big boy jobs, large in physical size adult males who seem to make ALL adult decisions but when it comes to prying open their wallets they wait to see if good ole' dad will open his. Case in point - paid for all food, accommodations, flights you name it and adult SKID contributed nothing all weekend. He made one weak attempt at the last dinner to claim he would purchase beverages for 3 people and...when push came to shove he never did it and quietly let good old stepmom put her credit card down. Can you imagine a grown adult male exclaiming "I'll take care of the drinks!" and then never doing it and watching as the stepmom has to open her purse. I could have said something but I wanted it to be known how pathetic this was- just watched the SKID the entire time and thought "Huh, this is the last of it dude, enjoy." 

Oh yes. DH has taken Poopsie on 2 - 3 vacations since Poopsie reached adulthood. DH tells me Poopsie (I'm laughing writing this name) "is stingy." P. never contributes. Worse, P. has ignored DH while on these all-inclusive DH-paid vacations. . . literally left for hours doing. . . something, seeming "distracted." 

I may have mentioned that when DH had his health crisis in late 2023, Poopsie came here  "to help" for way too long. In reality, I soon realized, P came here because he was unemployed and needed to mooch off of someone other than his mother. It was such a disaster. DH was giving P his credit card to go grocery shopping (which would seem normal under the circumstances) and that was taken advantage of. I've mentioned that P got speeding tickets (via cameras) in DH's car that we learned about after he was gone. And was trying to sneak in the gym with DH's gym ID, then would get snarky when confronted by gym personnel. But one memorable thing was Poopsie told me one day when DH was in the hospital, "Mom sent me a card so that we can go out to dinner." I thought: Wow! An act of kindness. (I am so naive!)  And in my exhaustion (I was working a lot...long story), I was practically salivating over the idea of going out to dinner. I needed that hour of food (me not cooking for once after working all day and going to the hospital) and relaxation. But it never came. The routine continued: P. was here in the house all day or at the hospital, I was at work, I or we would travel an hour to the hospital and back, and P. refused to prepare a meal.  

DH gets out of the hospital and P. pretends he wants to buy DH a meal (it was the BM gift card--he didn't say that). Yes, I went along. And the card didn't cover the whole cost of the meal, so DH ended up paying the remainder of the bill. It was such a crappy thing to do. P. just shouldn't have said anything to me--but then again, I finally had to admit that he isn't just rude--he is purposely mean. He once came to our home (everything paid for, of course), went out and bought some ice cream treats (first time I recall he ever bought anything) and actually said to me, "Sorry, Mia, there's not one for you." A grown-a adult said that!!!

Yuck - your examples I can relate to and they are horrid @MorningMia. Yes to P not paying the remainder and having poor old DH who just got out of the hospital slap the rest down. It's so gross. It's as gross as me paying the portion of adult SS claiming to put down for 3 drinks. However I stand corrected it wasn't just a weekend- he was with us for a full week never contributing a thing except for that hollow offer that I ended up covering. 

Re: ice cream treats- also relatable. One time other SKID lived with us and broke every promise that was made. Rent free, eating out of our cupboards and collecting unemployment - one long work day  (for me as he laid around on the couch) SKID comes in the door happily holding take out for himself - shows me what he bought himself and then merrily eats it right in front of me while I am still working. The adult grown a** man only thought about him and himself and then after asked me if I would be willing to give him gas money. I was like "Ummmm no. Get a job. The only thing I am going to do after work is find food for your dad and I." He blinked not even understanding how stupidly selfish the entire interaction was. 
 

Last edited by ImperfectlyPerfect (2/09/2026 2:34 pm)

ImperfectlyPerfect wrote:

MorningMia wrote:

ImperfectlyPerfect wrote:

I've had this happen @MorningMia with my version of Poopsie. Totally rendered helpless, abandoned needing DH to step in - well for his wallet to step in. These are big boys too- with big boy jobs, large in physical size adult males who seem to make ALL adult decisions but when it comes to prying open their wallets they wait to see if good ole' dad will open his. Case in point - paid for all food, accommodations, flights you name it and adult SKID contributed nothing all weekend. He made one weak attempt at the last dinner to claim he would purchase beverages for 3 people and...when push came to shove he never did it and quietly let good old stepmom put her credit card down. Can you imagine a grown adult male exclaiming "I'll take care of the drinks!" and then never doing it and watching as the stepmom has to open her purse. I could have said something but I wanted it to be known how pathetic this was- just watched the SKID the entire time and thought "Huh, this is the last of it dude, enjoy." 

Oh yes. DH has taken Poopsie on 2 - 3 vacations since Poopsie reached adulthood. DH tells me Poopsie (I'm laughing writing this name) "is stingy." P. never contributes. Worse, P. has ignored DH while on these all-inclusive DH-paid vacations. . . literally left for hours doing. . . something, seeming "distracted." 

I may have mentioned that when DH had his health crisis in late 2023, Poopsie came here  "to help" for way too long. In reality, I soon realized, P came here because he was unemployed and needed to mooch off of someone other than his mother. It was such a disaster. DH was giving P his credit card to go grocery shopping (which would seem normal under the circumstances) and that was taken advantage of. I've mentioned that P got speeding tickets (via cameras) in DH's car that we learned about after he was gone. And was trying to sneak in the gym with DH's gym ID, then would get snarky when confronted by gym personnel. But one memorable thing was Poopsie told me one day when DH was in the hospital, "Mom sent me a card so that we can go out to dinner." I thought: Wow! An act of kindness. (I am so naive!)  And in my exhaustion (I was working a lot...long story), I was practically salivating over the idea of going out to dinner. I needed that hour of food (me not cooking for once after working all day and going to the hospital) and relaxation. But it never came. The routine continued: P. was here in the house all day or at the hospital, I was at work, I or we would travel an hour to the hospital and back, and P. refused to prepare a meal.  

DH gets out of the hospital and P. pretends he wants to buy DH a meal (it was the BM gift card--he didn't say that). Yes, I went along. And the card didn't cover the whole cost of the meal, so DH ended up paying the remainder of the bill. It was such a crappy thing to do. P. just shouldn't have said anything to me--but then again, I finally had to admit that he isn't just rude--he is purposely mean. He once came to our home (everything paid for, of course), went out and bought some ice cream treats (first time I recall he ever bought anything) and actually said to me, "Sorry, Mia, there's not one for you." A grown-a adult said that!!!

Yuck - your examples I can relate to and they are horrid @MorningMia. Yes to P not paying the remainder and having poor old DH who just got out of the hospital slap the rest down. It's so gross. It's as gross as me paying the portion of adult SS claiming to put down for 3 drinks. However I stand corrected it wasn't just a weekend- he was with us for a full week never contributing a thing except for that hollow offer that I ended up covering. 

Re: ice cream treats- also relatable. One time other SKID lived with us and broke every promise that was made. Rent free, eating out of our cupboards and collecting unemployment - one long work day  (for me as he laid around on the couch) SKID comes in the door happily holding take out for himself - shows me what he bought himself and then merrily eats it right in front of me while I am still working. The adult grown a** man only thought about him and himself and then after asked me if I would be willing to give him gas money. I was like "Ummmm no. Get a job. The only thing I am going to do after work is find food for your dad and I." He blinked not even understanding how stupidly selfish the entire interaction was. 
 

You know how they say "brothers from another mother." We need a term like that in here for we SMs who seem to have the exact same experiences. It is incredible! I'm taking suggestions! 
 

MorningMia wrote:

ImperfectlyPerfect wrote:

MorningMia wrote:

Oh yes. DH has taken Poopsie on 2 - 3 vacations since Poopsie reached adulthood. DH tells me Poopsie (I'm laughing writing this name) "is stingy." P. never contributes. Worse, P. has ignored DH while on these all-inclusive DH-paid vacations. . . literally left for hours doing. . . something, seeming "distracted." 

I may have mentioned that when DH had his health crisis in late 2023, Poopsie came here  "to help" for way too long. In reality, I soon realized, P came here because he was unemployed and needed to mooch off of someone other than his mother. It was such a disaster. DH was giving P his credit card to go grocery shopping (which would seem normal under the circumstances) and that was taken advantage of. I've mentioned that P got speeding tickets (via cameras) in DH's car that we learned about after he was gone. And was trying to sneak in the gym with DH's gym ID, then would get snarky when confronted by gym personnel. But one memorable thing was Poopsie told me one day when DH was in the hospital, "Mom sent me a card so that we can go out to dinner." I thought: Wow! An act of kindness. (I am so naive!)  And in my exhaustion (I was working a lot...long story), I was practically salivating over the idea of going out to dinner. I needed that hour of food (me not cooking for once after working all day and going to the hospital) and relaxation. But it never came. The routine continued: P. was here in the house all day or at the hospital, I was at work, I or we would travel an hour to the hospital and back, and P. refused to prepare a meal.  

DH gets out of the hospital and P. pretends he wants to buy DH a meal (it was the BM gift card--he didn't say that). Yes, I went along. And the card didn't cover the whole cost of the meal, so DH ended up paying the remainder of the bill. It was such a crappy thing to do. P. just shouldn't have said anything to me--but then again, I finally had to admit that he isn't just rude--he is purposely mean. He once came to our home (everything paid for, of course), went out and bought some ice cream treats (first time I recall he ever bought anything) and actually said to me, "Sorry, Mia, there's not one for you." A grown-a adult said that!!!

Yuck - your examples I can relate to and they are horrid @MorningMia. Yes to P not paying the remainder and having poor old DH who just got out of the hospital slap the rest down. It's so gross. It's as gross as me paying the portion of adult SS claiming to put down for 3 drinks. However I stand corrected it wasn't just a weekend- he was with us for a full week never contributing a thing except for that hollow offer that I ended up covering. 

Re: ice cream treats- also relatable. One time other SKID lived with us and broke every promise that was made. Rent free, eating out of our cupboards and collecting unemployment - one long work day  (for me as he laid around on the couch) SKID comes in the door happily holding take out for himself - shows me what he bought himself and then merrily eats it right in front of me while I am still working. The adult grown a** man only thought about him and himself and then after asked me if I would be willing to give him gas money. I was like "Ummmm no. Get a job. The only thing I am going to do after work is find food for your dad and I." He blinked not even understanding how stupidly selfish the entire interaction was. 
 

You know how they say "brothers from another mother." We need a term like that in here for we SMs who seem to have the exact same experiences. It is incredible! I'm taking suggestions! 
 

The parallels are uncanny! It's the same bad story every time with small twists here and there. :D