I have yet to see a spoiled child that turned into an unspoiled adult. Two examples in my family:

My oldest brother still calls his 40yo daughter his little princess. She has a masters in a field in which she will NEVER get a job because 1) she won't move to where the jobs are, and b) she honestly believes that the employers should come to HER: someone who has mediocre grades, is immature, and lazy as can be. She works at Walmart and whines about how hard it is. In contrast, her brother was always told he was a failure and a screwup. He is, hands down, one of the hardest workers I have ever known. Dedicated to the job, devoted to his wife (SAH) and children. He has minimal contact with his parents. Big shocker...

My oldest sister and ickle BIL spoiled their oldest son, constantly reassuring him that he is a super genius. He grew up to be an arrogant, pretentious narcissist and is raising his son to be the same (his daughter's are female, so 'lesser'). His wife supports the family.

Dahlia8448 wrote:

Not completely on topic, but here goes…I’m NC with my father and his wife (my stepmother) because they are awful. Favored my oldest stepsister and half sister, treated the rest of us as less than.
Well, turns out when you spoil some of your kids, things don’t turn out too rosy. Half sis went to a great college, had a fantastic job, turns out she did it just to please my SM/her mom, she had a baby, quit her job (3+ years ago!) and her husband has a great job/lots of money, but..word is her house is a complete mess, filthy kitchen, eat takeout all the time, she still spends like they have no kids and two incomes, she screams at and berates her husband who works 14 hour days, and has made no moves to change the career she ended up loathing.
My father and SM, due to SMs bad money management, are needing a place to live. Halfsis has the largest home, she doesn’t want them there, screamed and ranted at SM the last time she visited…guess where she learned that? That’s right, from SM.
Don’t ever feel bad for resisting others attempts to spoil and coddle kids. Don’t ever feel bad for trying to teach them responsibility and how to treat others well in the face of parents who want to be pals/let them be the princes and princesses of the house. Don’t consider your attempts a failure, because everyone needs a good example.

OH YES. Your half-sis sounds very much like one of my sisters--the one who recently lost her (once paid-for) house after being terribly emotionally abusive (if not more) to two husbands who treated her like a princess. She alienated her two (now adult) kids, along with just about everyone else once in her life. Our parents didn't feel like dealing with her, so there was the spoiling from the home of origin. Husbands just wanted to keep her calm or else . . . . When our elderly mother needed foot surgery, her best pick for a place to recover (because my sister rarely worked) was my sister's house. Nope. Wouldn't do it. My mother never got the surgery. The photos online of my sister's house (that was about to go up for auction) showed a complete pig sty. No one did her any favors by bowing to her (half the time just to get her to shut up . . . she was exhausting).   
Spoiling never works out well. 

Sadly, in blended family situations at least one side of the blend is usually divorced and bringing children who are a product of a failed family to the mix.

Many divorced dads get wrapped up in being the "GoodGuy". So do the moms in many COD situations.  It is not about raising the kids, it is about winning the popularity contest.   The problem with the GoodGuy model is clearly demonstrated in the Child's Play movie series.  the GoodGuy  model seems to regularly result in kids who are on par with Chucky the GoodGuy doll.



Not my SKid. But his three younger half sibs are products of the GoodGuy model and include one on the dole, one in prison, and one not far behind the inmate.