I have shared that my son is struggling with mental and emotional health issues related to incidents with sexual predators.  Two different predators who are Sr leaders.   Grrrrrr. 

He joined us for Christmas at my parents and it turned out to be a great visit for all of us including my SKid. 

His mom flew out to accompany him from his duty station to my parents.  His therapist has been pushing him to engage more with the public and commented that his mom coming to pick him up was a security blanket that SS did not need.  She made herself available, as did I, to escort him back to his duty station. He declined and told us that he though he could do it himself. He did it and made it back home in time for work after a week with the family.  I'm very proud of him. The he did catch the Flu from one or several of the teaming millions in the airports and on airplanes.

He has made a significant investment in healing, working with therapists, and working with the legal team that is investigating and prosecuting the perpetrators.  Last summer, ~6mos ago, he was notified that the first case he made into an open investigation would not go to Courts Martial.  That was a huge hit for SS.  However, the case was forwarded for command discipline, and the 2-up leader sent it to a peer discipline termination board for disposition.  So, that perpetrator is now facing the possibility of separation under a Less Than Honorable discharge label which will pretty much end any career he may have and cost him his retirement.  The perpetrators legal team has countered offering for voluntary separation under either an honorable discharge condition or general discharge under honorable circumstances.  We are waiting to see what the prosecution chooses. They have asked our kid for his opionion, he was clear that anything allowing the predator (a Doctor) to continue practicing or having a career that gives access to potential victims is not acceptable.  Though our kid really has no impact on what is decided. He pointed out to the prosecutor when called and asked his opinion that the investigation uncovered 3 additional vistims in addition to our son.  That may sway the decision on allowing the perpetrator to resign or have to stand before the peer disciplinary board.  This perpetrator is a Doctor, was married with a wife and several kids, when he was predating on young male military members in the exam room during exams.  After SS changed the investigation from closed to open, the wife left with the kids, they divorced, and the Doc has married a man.  

We are hopeful that the end result with be termination with prejudice under a dishonorable designation. Knock on wood.

Now for the next chapter of the related story.   SS filed two cases with the investigating office. Initially both were closed which means SS's name nor the name of the perpetrator were available under open record. Only the investigarors had SS's name. The perpetrators were not named. This apparently gives the military a heads up regarding a problem and what unit it occurred in but no names.  As SS worked with his therapy team it came out that the first perpetrator is a Doctor which forced the the therapy team into mandatory reporting territory.   At that point SS chose to make that investigation an open status complaint which is what we have been navigating for the last nearly 2yrs as SS is working through therapy.

While together at Christmas, SS shared that he has made the other complaint an open complaint.  His reasoning is that he does not want anyone else to be predated on as he has been by the other perpetrator.  So, now the show begins again.  As his dad I am both proud and petrified by his decision. Proud that he is doing the right thing, petrified that he will face a repeat of the anxieties, PTSD, and emotional terror that he has lived with for the last several years.

As he explains it, according to his med and mental health team, he buried the events psychologically and emotionally as they were happening and for some time after.   When he changed duty stations after 5yrs overseas back to the US, the additional anxiety due to the major change triggered the mental and emotional breaks that crippled him.  Apparently, this is not unusual with those with severe PTSD.

With the first investigation, he has a ton of evidence.  Voice mails, emails, texts, etc.... With the second case, he did not feel he had enough to make it an open investigation.  However, several of his coworkers were extremely aware of that Sr leader and what he was doing.  A number of those coworkers are on board with speaking to the investigators and testifying if necessary.  

So, I am on my knees praying that my son will be okay through the next round and will find his way back to being the dynamic, smart, successful man that he has been.  

I am worried that the decompression after the main elements of the prior investigation may be triggering him to rebuild that stress level as that may be his adjusted normal.  

When he aged out from under the CO and we went from 16yrs of being on edge and ready to battle the SpermClan at the drop of a hat, I had some adjustment to work through.  I'm hoping his opening the other case is not potentially self-sabotaging.

But, I am not a therapist.  So, I am maintaining optimism that it will all work out.

I need a drink. Or five.