That office sounds so gossipy. I feel like this tended to happen a lot in factory jobs I used to have. Luckily I never experienced this much in my office jobs but I just tended to keep to myself. We were always so busy and "nose to the grind". Our office was also just super, super quiet. You could hear a pin drop

The behaviors you've described would irk me so much. Likely I would just ignore them best I could do. I was never very popular at work.. I always just kind of did my job. I interacted with the office folks at little office gatherings like birthday party cake and whatnot. And that was fine.

Have you ever said anything to these mean girls about how they're acting or would that just make it worse?

The cake thing made me laugh. Who the heck brings gourmet cake to the office for a bday party, lol. If anything we always had cheap, white slab cake. I always got annoyed by the idea of office birthday parties. My boss would always decorate the bday recipients desk with balloons and a card. That was ok. I got sick of having cake each time or having to organize something more fancy

Yesterdays wrote:

That office sounds so gossipy. I feel like this tended to happen a lot in factory jobs I used to have. Luckily I never experienced this much in my office jobs but I just tended to keep to myself. We were always so busy and "nose to the grind". Our office was also just super, super quiet. You could hear a pin drop

The behaviors you've described would irk me so much. Likely I would just ignore them best I could do. I was never very popular at work.. I always just kind of did my job. I interacted with the office folks at little office gatherings like birthday party cake and whatnot. And that was fine.

Have you ever said anything to these mean girls about how they're acting or would that just make it worse?

The cake thing made me laugh. Who the heck brings gourmet cake to the office for a bday party, lol. If anything we always had cheap, white slab cake. I always got annoyed by the idea of office birthday parties. My boss would always decorate the bday recipients desk with balloons and a card. That was ok. I got sick of having cake each time or having to organize something more fancy

I "get along" with everyone, and I'm always friendly, but I have been withdrawing more recently and I think that's the only way to continue to enjoy the job--concentrate on the work, which I love, and the outside communications, which I also love, and stay more to myself while I'm in the office. I have "defended" being kind to the difficult employee, but I wouldn't dare confront "the mean girls" about their behavior, as it's very clear this behavior is driven by the director, who seems to be viewed as/treated like a goddess (she gets the BEST cake--haha), which I really don't understand -- but, oh well. I don't know. I never imagined I'd be back in middle school at my age. Sigh. 

Last edited by MorningMia (11/27/2025 6:28 pm)

I have no regrets, but I did lose a job due to a version of the MGC, though in that case it was the MGuyClick.  I was matrixed into the leader of a business unit I had built.  I was 8yrs out of undergrad and had been with the company for 8yrs when I was added to a RIF list due to confronting the MGC.

The leader was the fair haired boy of the site director.  He had been a partner for a then Big 6 accounting/consulting firm.  He had a major Napoleon complex and his rear sniffer squad played up to it hard.   He and I started butting heads fairly early when I accepted that role.  The usual stuff associated with that type of person.  Hostile work environment issues, gaslighting about that being jokes and badgering people to not be so sensitive, intimidating team members, public humiliation, etc..   I got a call from HR about him when several people in the Org filed complaints regarding little Napoleon and his antics.  Several young women in the Org leaving his hotel rooms for the pre breakfast walk of shame during business trips, the rotating humiliation target activities during staff meetings, etc, etc, etc..  I ended up involved in an HR and Legal dept investigation about him and the rear sniffers.  

I had recently received my third consecutive 1 level performance review (the highest for that company) when the tension amplified significantly.  I was matrixed to little Napoleon and even with his input I still received a 1 level rating.   This coincided with a downturn in the semiconductor market which resulted in a significant Reduction In Force.  I had to release my entire department, so it was no surprise when I was RIFd in the evening after all clear was given at an all-hands meeting.   Leaders were not RIFd during the AM notification period when RIFs occurred.  Announcements to Wall Street were made at the time of the post RIF all hands meetings in the AM.  Then, leaders got their walking papers.

He and his rear sniffers were all broken up and spread to different departments.  6mos late my cell phone blew up when he was escorted off property by Federal Marshals.   His lead rear sniffer was escorted off property by corporate security as the fair haired little Napoleon was escorted away.

Even being right and being a safe harbor for my team and others, did not armor me against corporate legal risks.  I suspect that though my Org was eleminated, part of my departure was motivated by the risk that I knew too much related to the whole investigation situation.

Be careful.

Last edited by Rags (12/04/2025 6:10 pm)

I’m super late to this convo, but to add: mostly my work (females only) isn’t like that. But there is a clique that ramped up towards end of year. I can think of various reasons why. And while people can choose who to hang with it hurts when two were prev friends that drifted away (them I think, not me). But anyway last few weeks they were so awful I came home in tears several times. So not me. It’s them. I’m now just accepting they aren’t friends (one has left anyway) and will seek out company of people who like me. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt. But I’m trying. 

I have also experienced the MGC in my career.

One most notable situation was when I was hired into a company from the outside into a lead role. Unbeknownst to me, one of my new coworkers had applied and not been awarded that role and she and her "cohorts" (aka the rest of my small 6 person female group)... resented me from day ONE.

It was frustrating because even though I was in a lead role.. I was new to the company and obviously needed to learn new processes and new work outputs.. reporting etc.. but one older woman literally said.. "You are the lead.. you should know this.. not my job to tell you" and turned away.  Same woman actually said "that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard" in a group meeting.. much later on.... and several people in the group (a couple figured out I was not that bad..haha).. actually told me how they couldn't believe she would be so rude.. I was like.. well.. she always is.. and I guess I can't change it.. no sense stooping to her level.

I was in that group for 3 years.. finally sick of it.. and was really close to leaving the company.. where I had a PENSION.. and lots of vacation..etc... when I lucked into a job posting internally.. into a very male dominated area of our company.. made the switch 20 years ago... never been happier!