Clove wrote:

I still cry and miss him...

When you miss him, remember the horrible things he did and WHY you're alone and safe. 

The newbie wave👋
I lurked on Steptalk for a good while, but found the format confusing so I was just a reader.

I’m a 32 & 1/2 year veteran of this step life. I was a lucky one whose DH’s children were grown when we started dating and then married. No child support and no contact with exW.  His son was and still is a titty baby, but was always polite and my DH’s daughter was and still is awesome. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding and 31 years later I consider her one of my best friends. We do girls trips and family vacations together and socialize often with her and her husband. Luckily his son lives a few hours away and remains a titty baby (and lets his sister do all the taking care of their aging and unwell mother). He is a non factor in our life and except for 2 or 3 phone calls a year to my DH to talk about sports we really don’t hear from or see him. I like it that way and DH seems to be okay with it also. The last straw for DH was when his son’s grandmother (my MIL) he claimed to adore died and he couldn’t bother to leave his vacation 1 day early to attend her funeral. I really used to love his wife but she played a big part in them not coming to the funeral and I haven’t spoken to her in 2 years, nor do we talk to their grown daughter. I’m pretty easy going, but when you hurt my DH I’m not going to be quiet about how I feel about it.

We are in the process of downsizing/selling our house and building a home on the gulf coast. We sold our business and have been retired for about 10 years now, hence my name, luvmylife. I’m have a grown son who travels for work so don’t get to see him often which can sometimes be a good thing because we butt heads a lot, but I love him. He’s 46 and thinks I’m abandoning him because I’m moving 6 hours away. He and my DH have a good relationship and DH always tries to be the peacekeeper. No ex in the picture for me. He passed 13 years ago and even then we all had a friendly relationship as parents of a grown child. 

oh well enough about me. Just wanted to give a little info because after lurking so long I feel like I know y’all.
 

Last edited by luvmylife (8/31/2025 12:45 am)

So good to find everyone here 🥰
I started taking some funky magnesium concoction, and whether it’s the placebo effect or the real thing, I started feeling like my old self again- more physical and mental energy (brain fog rarely shows up), my libido is returning after being mostly gone close to a year, and I’ve had a few days where I’ve been able to appreciate just BEING without having to invent things to DO to get some sense of enjoyment.
I don’t know if it was just as effective had I fallen into the trap of moving in with my SO and his demon children, but in any case, I’m very appreciative of my quiet, clean space surrounded by nature.